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𝙘𝙝.8 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 (1)

double update because i felt bad for not updating in so long

November 26
6:17 am.

I'd been awake the whole time.

I couldn't fall back asleep. It started as an accident, really.

I was moving around in bed, feeling as if the bed had grown bigger, colder.
I moved around for a while, trying to find the warmth.. when I pushed back, i felt something. Something nice. My eyes snapped open and I knew what it was. My ass was being pressed against Richie's lower area. I meant to back away but I couldn't. Before I knew it, I was moving back against him. I don't know why. Well I do, because I like Richie. I only wanted to feel him. It was wrong, I know. I was supposed to stop. But then I started making sounds.

Soft whines and quiet moans were escaping the back of my throat and I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to. The more I continued, the more I wanted it. I felt Richie began to stir in his sleep but I didn't stop. We'd slept together before. Obviously never done this, but I'd always known that Richie tended to always move a lot while he slept so I wasn't too concerned about it. But then he put his hand on my hip and I froze. I didn't know what to do, he was awake.

I kept going. If I had stopped, he would've found out I was awake and that would've been embarrassing for me. It became harder for me to move against his grip, he was stopping me from doing anything. I grew frustrated, wanting more of what I couldn't have. And then I accidentally said his name. I was screwed, surely he would've known that I had been awake. Our friendship would be over in seconds. I shut my eyes, hoping that that would have at least tricked him. To my surprise, he moved forward so that he was grinding along with me. We were moving in a nice slow rhythm, and it was so nice. I felt guilty, what we were doing was wrong. But if it was wrong why did it feel so right? So good.
So loving? I couldn't stop myself from moaning anymore, though I didn't want to be loud since i would give too much away, but I couldn't help it. But then Richie stopped. I heard him sigh. I was confused and nervous. Maybe he knew. I wanted to open my eyes, I wanted to see what was wrong but I knew that if I did, I might be met with Richie's blue eyes, staring back at me.

They might have shown anger, disgust, shock, anything bad. I kept my eyes closed. He stood up... he.. kissed my cheek.
It wasn't like the times he'd joked around. Or like the friendly kisses he gave me at random times. This one felt real. I heard him walk across my floor, open the door and then close it behind him. I heard him open the bathroom door and run the tap water.
I think the water is what calmed me down and made me fall back asleep.

Now it's 6:37 am, Richie's still sound asleep. I hope he doesn't bring up the topic today.

Signed, Eddie