A Message to Scott Cawthon: Reimagined

Epilogue

Ryan finished his explanation of how the trial went and sat quietly in front of his unconscious friend. To think that two weeks ago today, they had been enjoying a holiday to Alton Towers. And now, here he was, watching Will as he laid unmoving in his hospital bed. "The, err, explanation videos were taken okay. We didn't tell people everything obviously. The whole thing was mostly just lying if I'm being honest... well, it's the best way I suppose. As far as our audiences know, we were kidnapped at Alton Towers and we all sustained injuries which caused a death and for you and Lewis to end up in a coma. People have been really supportive so far; they all want us to take as much time as needed. Rhys and I only recorded one video and then posted it on all six channels. I just want to get back to it though; get back to normality. Nathen is just forcing me to have a few more days to make sure I'm ready. He's worried that the media is going to find the videos and then bombard Rhys and I with questions. It's stupid how people think it's acceptable to crash into a person's personal life and expect awnsers... I hope it doesn't happen to us.

I'm, um, going to work on another video for 8-BitGaming and his channel. I'm thinking of making it a memorial type thing, y'know? Mabey a compilation of all of his best moments, something like that, I don't really know." He watched the musician as if he was waiting for a response. "I miss him. I miss him so badly," Ryan whispered more to himself than anyone else. "His family hasn't really taken it well, which is completely understandable of course. Ronnie hasn't taken it well at all though. He came to me after Lewis's trial, looking like he wanted to punch me. I understand it... he just wanted to blame someone, so he blamed me."

A few birds tweeted outside of the window, which held his attention for a while. He felt uncomfortable in the hospital but felt an overwhelming urge to stay. What if Mac and David are still here somewhere? Ryan constantly thought to himself, giving nervous glances at the doorway. Some nurses walked past to go into other patient's rooms. He turned back to Will.

"Rhys went back to Scotland this morning, but he says that the moment you wake up, he's coming back down. Even if you wake up while he's still on the train, he's coming back down. It should be nice for him though; he'll see his girlfriend for the first time in a fortnight so that should be nice."

The heart monitor's beeping sounded too loud and obnoxious, but it was a reminder that Ryan had something to look forward to. "Everyone's waiting for you to wake up, Will. The doctors don't know why you're not waking up yet, they gave you the drug thing to counteract the anaesthetic. Apparently, you might have gone into an actual coma so, err, would you mind... not being lazy and waking up?" Ryan laughed gently. "Seriously, man, I miss you. Your mum has been non-stop worrying, so have your brothers. I'm, erm, not sure how Jessica is dealing with it. I know that she knows you're in hospital, but I don't think she has seen you yet. If I had a daughter, I don't think I'd want them to see me in a hospital like this... so I understand if she doesn't come." Silence. "I don't even know if you can hear me, Will. But if you can, please know that we are all waiting for you. So, when you're ready, you know what to do."

He could picture the purple-haired man giving Ryan a stern look and telling him to worry about his own health instead of Will's. To stop panicking, saying that he'd be okay. Suddenly, words came spurting out of Ryan's mouth as if a pent-up animal had broken free of its cage. "Do you know what I hate the most? I hate the fact that for some f***ed up reason I decided to blame him for all of it. It was pretty damn clear that he wasn't himself, and I saw that! I literally went downstairs one morning, and he was having a panic attack or something, and like the idiot I am I decided to tell no one. So why did I blame him for what happened? He was clearly sick! And now look where it got us? If... if I had said something, we could have stopped this."

"Stop being an idiot Ryan. No one is to blame," he could see Will tell him.

"We could have prevented this whole thing. You would be awake, Baz would be alive, he wouldn't have been taken by that b****..." that professor. "Who even was that guy? Why did he and the doctors treat Lewis like... like... like some kind of lab rat!? Why did I choose to trust him? Will, I literally am the reason they could take Lewis away! I was the one that knocked him out!"

"Did you know what would happen though?"

"No, but I still could have chosen not to! I..." something wet dripped onto his hand, Ryan looked down. There was a single, large droplet there, slowly trickling across his palm and onto his legs. He felt the side of his face; it was wet. He was crying. "... I never got to say goodbye, Will. And I don't even know if I'm going to see him again, or if he's even going to recognise me. He barely recognised me the last time I saw him."

"And why would you want to see him again?"

"Because... I never got to try and help him. I may have lost Baz, but I wasn't the one who had to watch himself kill someone while having no control. How much would that have messed someone up? And then in I went, saying it was all his fault. And from what I saw him like, he clearly believed it. But it wasn't! It wasn't his fault! I never got to say that to him. I never got to say that it was okay. I mean... I'd be lying if I said that I had completely forgiven him, but I don't blame him like I had done. And I want to - I really want to - forgive him. I just want to talk to him. But I can't. I don't even know where they took him.

"But that's not all you want, is it? You're looking for something."

Ryan stared at the wall in silence.

You want him to forgive you.

"Oh... erm, hi! I didn't realise anyone else would be here!" a female voice said. Ryan looked towards the source and smiled.

"Sorry, I was just leaving," he said, discreetly rubbing the tears from his face.

"Oh no, please! I didn't mean to make you leave or anything!"

"No, no, it's fine. I was seriously just about to leave, so don't worry!"

"Oh, okay. I'm Sofia by the way. You're Ryan, right?"

"Yeah, that's me!"

"Well, see you later Ryan."

"You too, Sofia," Ryan stuttered hastily as he grabbed his coat from a chair and made his way from the room. "See ya later, mate," he murmured under his breath as he gave the musician one last pleading look as if that would suddenly make him wake up. Nothing happened.

He looked through the window into the room and saw Sofia sit down in the seat beside Will that he had just been in. She gently took hold of Will's hand and began to talk quietly to him, the words too soft to make out. With that, Ryan left the hospital as quick as he possibly could and rushed to his car, slumping down in the seat when he got there with a groan as he buried his face in his hands. Pull yourself together, man!

He began to make the hour drive home, struggling to take his mind off of Lewis. Where was he? How was he? Was he safe? Was he getting better? He sighed and began to focus on driving, helping to clear his mind. Wherever Lewis was, it couldn't be worse than that room he had been kept in.

How wrong Ryan was.

Traffic was minimal so the drive was no longer than Ryan expected. He pulled up beside his house where Nathen was already waiting at the door to welcome him back. He mumbled his greetings and trudged up to his office where he slowly sunk into his chair as happy memories of his best friend leaked through his mind. The buzzing of his phone made him jump. The screen lit up and a slide appeared under the clock, showing one new message. Ryan quickly unlocked his phone and read it.

"Hello, Ryan. This is Elizabeth Jones. You don't know me right now, but you will hopefully meet me in the future. I am your friend Lewis's psychotherapist and I am helping him through his rehabilitation. As you know, he is currently under the care of Professor Charles in a secure and safe metal institution. Once Lewis has made good progress, we would like to arrange with you and Rhys (and - if he is awake, active and healthy - Will) to meet with Lewis in the coming weeks. Getting to see a familiar face is very beneficial for patients, both emotionally and mentally, so we hope you will accept our invitation. Please respond ASAP and we will get back with more information soon.

- Lizzie"

Releasing a breath, he didn't know he was holding, Ryan looked up from his phone which he was struggling to hold with his shaking hands. He stared at the sound-proofed wall for what felt like an eternity as he debated with himself. Ryan looked at his phone and typed out a message and his finger hovered over the send button. The silence of the room drummed in his ears along with the echoes of Baz's words. Ryan smiled and hit the send button.

"When do I need to be there?"