𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 ☾ BUCKY BARNES { 3 }

t h r e e

"No." She heard Steve sigh."No it's not."

And just like that, worry began to flow through her like a drug. Eating away at her, it's sharp teeth tearing holes into her soul at Steve's very words. Because she knew Steve, she knew that he was never one to outright admit that something was wrong. He wouldn't even tell her if he was dying in order to save her from the pain, he was that kind of man. And if he was openly going to tell her something of this nature over the phone, she knew that it couldn't be good. Feeding into that insatiable beast that was fear.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" She asked instantly, concern dripping from her voice like tar.

"Peggy died," Steve replied, the words forcing a shocked exhale to fall from Allie's lips."She's dead."

"No... I—" She stuttered, shaking her head at his words in complete disbelief. "Steve, I'm so sorry."

It seemed that Allie's complete vocabulary faded from memory, leaving her unable to articulate what she wanted to say to Steve. Her mouth unable to form the lilts and inflexions needed to form those very words to communicate the sadness that stirred within her. How she wanted to apologize for his loss, for her own loss, for her guilt. How she wanted to apologize for it all.

"I just needed someone to talk to." Steve spoke after a moment, his voice lacking its usual livliness and joviality. Sounding like a ghost of the man that Allie knew.

"How did it happen?"

"She had Alzheimers and was living in a retirement home just outside of Washington. She had been bad for a while but she passed last night in her sleep."

"And you had been seeing her?" She murmured, leaning her head against the wall with a sigh.

"Yeah, I tried to see her at least once a week."

"I'm so sorry Steve. I know how much she meant to you." She began, her tone soft and empathetic. Almost splintering with grief. "She was a beautiful woman, and I am so grateful I got to know her back in the 40s."

"I should have brought you to see her."

"No Steve. I don't think it would have done either of us any good seeing each other." She shook her head resolutely. "With everything Peggy stood for, I don't think she would have approved of who I have become."

And that excuse Allie had told Steve, was one she had been telling herself for a while now. She would admit that the thought of going to see Peggy had crossed her mind since she had become Allie Williams again. Especially given her reunion with Steve and meeting Tony, leaving Peggy as the only member of the golden trio that Allie had yet to reunite with. But Allie remembered Peggy's unyielding views of morality, her internal compass that featured a stark line differing right from wrong. And after everything that Allie had done, that Trickery had done, (namely attacking Peggy back in the '50s), she wasn't sure if Peggy would have wanted Allie back in her life.

"Allie, she was not a fool. She would have understood everything you had to go through."

"I don't know if she would have understood me nearly killing her on a mission back in the '50s." She countered, her words leaving Steve speechless for a brief moment.

"She loved you, Allie."

"And I loved her too, I truly did."

"I know." Steve sighed, his words sounding tired, void of life. Revealing to Allie just how hard he was taking this loss. "Her funeral is on the 22nd, and I'd like you to come."

"Steve." She murmured dismally at the news, her eyes blurring with unshed tears. "I don't think that's smart."

"Why not?"