What if I can't sleep tonight,
will I see things I never saw?
Should I just wait,
laying in bed.
Should I read a book?
Should I open the window,
and just watch the stars?
Should I write how I feel?
Should I write a song,
and then sing quietly so that no one can hear me?
Should I just dance it out, huh?
I wish I could.
I wish I had somebody to hold me.
I wish I could stop thinking.
It would be nice to have an off switch to my brain, so that I could stop worrying about everything.
I wish I didn't care.
I wish I was stupid,
I wish I knew less words to think of,
and I wish I never dreamed,
'cause now I'm afraid it might be all lost.
And I'm scared,
I don't want to close my eyes,
I don't want to fade in the dark,
I don't want to be alone anymore.
I wish I could wake up in a world where everything is easier,
where I'm just a normal girl,
but that's not gonna happen,
so It's better if now I just try to sleep.
I'm tired,
and this was useless anyways.
Why do I keep trying?
Why do I even keep hoping somebody will read this,
and actually care about it?
It's not worth it,
I'm not worth it, I never was.
And now I'm just complaining over nothing,
like a little dumb spoiled girl.
Why do I even feel this way?
It makes no sense at all.
I'm supposed to be happy.
I'm supposed to feel fine.
Why am I not happy as I should be?
Why do I never feel the way I'm supposed to?
You know what?
I'm done.
This is ridiculous.
I'm just gonna try to sleep now.
It's late, not as late as it could've been, tho.
Tomorrow it'll all feel better, like it always does.
"Just don't think about it, just ignore it, put it in the corner and save the shit for the night. That's when you'll be having a dramatic, unnecessary mental breakdown :)."
And it's nice to reach a point where you can't even form a proper sentence 'cause you're so tired and exhausted.
At least maybe tonight I'll get to fall asleep right away.
Hopefully.
I've had enough of thoughts for today, I'll leave the rest for tomorrow.
goodnight🌻
29th August 2019;
3:00 AM
YOU ARE READING
T.A.L.K.🌻
Tilfeldiglooking for somebody to talk to. •AJ :) •an actual dumbass •lonley af •I want to help, so if you need anything just ask •anime, books, manga, tv shows... you name it •bi mess •italy♡ •I promise I'm actually nice ~🌙🌻
