Van

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🌼 2014 🌼

We'd always said we'd never do a festival until we played a festival and now, wandering through the backstage tents at Leeds I felt overwhelmed with excitement.
There was rain and mud and we were all filled with the same fuzzy anticipation. This was where we were supposed to be, we were made to be here, to play music and get the crowd on eachother shoulders all singing back the words.
It hadn't been that long since the album had dropped but since it had we'd been skyrocketed into fame, cannonballed, propelled whatever you want to call it.
Not quite recognisable in the street but more than recognisable enough when we walked out on stage, picked up our guitars and threw ourselves into Homesick.

It was brilliant. The sweet spot. From here on out it was all up.

Watching the crowd bristling with anticipation from the wings i felt my stomach flipping, I was all fired up and ready. I had a cig, took a swig of my drink and then, that was it.

"I got mislead mistook again, everything that i said," i sang into the mic, opening my eyes briefly to see the crowd already going wild.

And then I heard Bondys voice over the dead mic mumble something about keeping an eye out for his sister. We'd not heard anything about Eponine since the last time we'd seen her. I was beginning to wonder if he knew anything about her half the time we were away.

"Oh aye yeah your imaginary sister," i chuckled before launching into the chorus.

"Wanker," he grinned, "Nah she is she's out there somewhere,"

And so it was that I found myself distracted for the rest of the gig, trying to see if I could spot her. The way it usually went I wouldn't have been surprised if Id caught sight of her crying in the corner somewhere. That was the running I joke I'd have had with her if I ever saw her between the disasters which seemed to follow her around.

"Ere this ones called Fallout," i said trying my best to throw myself into the set and forget about her. But something in the way I'd caught her looking over my shoulder the last time we'd met played on my mind. She'd smiled a lot that night, after we'd met on the back step, smoked and gone inside with her brother. We'd laughed a lot too, together, though most of the time it was Bondy who painted to smiles on her face.
But she'd never looked happy, not truly and that was something I couldn't shake or ignore. I wasn't used to it. I didn't like it. Not being able to make someone light up, truly light up. It was the gift I'd been blessed with and still it never worked on her.

Stumbling off stage amid all the flashing lights and the smoke, I felt Bondy pull me into his side dramtically. We were all overcome with it again, the adrenalin rush of another set smashed.

"Ey mate if.. Uh..." trailed off Larry, "if you know, your sister..."

"Eponine..." said Bondy a little flat, a little confused anyone could have forgotten her name. I cracked a laugh, so did the lads.

"Ey well its hardly surprising he canna remember her name he's not seen her in years!" i teased, "she's an enigma that sister of yours mate, am still confused shes just a wild hallucination you sometimes have!"

"I talk about her all the time!" he protested but when I looked to any of the other lads, smirk still playing on my lips, they all grinned and agreed with me.

"You fuckin never talk about her..."

"Tonights the first time ive heard owt bout her since the Manchester show last year..." chuckled Benji, "She's not real mate," he winked only trying to wind him up.

"Right!" he announced a little too loudly, a little too enthusiastically, swaying as he rocked himself, one hand in the air, and lost his balance, "Come on Van..."

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