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My skin has began to grow raw from scrubbing so hard. I couldn't get Billy Kimbers voice out of my head. That man was like a cockroach and Tommy led me into his trap. Of course he wouldn't have let it go further. It was Tommy though he wouldn't put me on a situation he couldn't get me out of...or at least I hoped he wouldn't.
"Noel Tommy told me what happened are okay?" Polly walked into the bathroom to find me still sitting in the bath. The water had now grown cold. "Darling?"
"Ada's dress is ruined," I said dully. "I don't even think the best seamstress in small heath would be much help at this point." Polly warped me in a robe before taking me down to the kitchen. "When I joked if I was playing one of his whores I..." I stopped myself a wave of guilt washed over me. Things could have been so much worse. "Does John know?"
"Yes. They were arguing in the Garrison before I came to find you. Tommy knows he was wrong dear."
"Tommy Shelby never thinks he's wrong Pol. Don't kid yourself." I stared at my cup of tea, it was no longer steaming. I pushed the small cup towards pill before standing up and walking towards the liquor cannot. After pouring two healthy cups of whisky I re took my seat. "What's his plan for the Lee's Poll?"
"Nothing good," Polly sighed. "He's planning a merger." She didn't look at me.
"What kind of merger?"
"Noel." Polly breathed.
"Don't keep secrets from me Polly. Not about things that involve me." —
I stormed into Tommy's office completely ignoring Arthur and a few other blinders who yelled at me that he was too busy to talk. He was going to make time for me. He was going to make time for this.
"Do you hate me?" I spat slamming the door behind me.
"Calm down Noel." Tommy warned.
"When you said you would do whatever it takes to protect me from the Lee's I never imagined this. I would rather die than watch you marry off John infront of me. And what the hell does he think of this?! You said I would be a Shelby! You said we were family!" I screamed. "Have I not lost enough?" A strange quite washed over Tommy's office as he walked over to me and helped me sit down I hadn't realized my body was completely shaking with rage.
"You will always be a part of this family Noel. Always." Tommy tried to reassure me.
"Was the other day a test? Put me in the situation of a whore to prove I was one? To prove I'm not good enough?!" The tears began. It was as if the dam surrounding my heart had finally cracked and all the emotions I ever felt were pouring out.
"This is just business there was no other way."
"There's always another way Tommy. There's always another way."
"John can't know he won't go through with it if he knows," Tommy stopped me.
"And how awful that would be someone going against what Tommy Shelby wants..."
