The Boy That Saved My Life (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Ch.8

(HARRY'S POV) - 1 MONTH LATER

"Do you want to know what would make me happy, Harry? Do you really want to know? If you would leave and never visit me again! I don't want to see you!"

I played the scene over and over in my head, drowning myself in my sorrows.

Every single day, I would get up and be so close to going back to the hospital, but that flashback aways seemed to stop me. The rest of the boys saw how unhappy I was without her. They urged me to see her, telling me that she hadn't meant what she said. I ignored them, I had to do what made Emma happy. Despite how much pain and anguish it caused me, all I wanted was her to be happy.

I remember when I was just a child, my mom would always tell me, "I'm happy if you're happy." I used to ask her about it, wondering why she would say that. She would tell me that when someone you care a lot about is happy, you are happy. She said that it is the best feeling in the world to have others be happy.

I couldn't help but wonder why I wasn't happy. If Emma was happy, then why wasn't I? Instead of joy, all I felt was misery, distress, and grief.

Even a month later, the only thing on my mind was that perfect human being that lived in room 205. I would fall asleep at night thinking about her dazzling blue eyes, rosy pink cheeks, soft blonde hair, and flawless pale skin. I dreamed about her, imagining what life would be like if I could call her my own. If she wasn't sick, if she didn't turn me down. Life would be perfect. I would have a wonderful job, the best friends, and the most amazing girl out there. Although in reality I still had two of those, I couldn't live with myself knowing that I was missing out on the third. 

I finally got up, dragging my feet to the bathroom. I was about to step into the shower, when I noticed something in the mirror. I gazed into it, realizing that the frightening sight was only me. I stared at my reflection, wondering how I managed to look the way I did. My curls were in a knotted mess, my face was dull and grey, my eyes had dark bags, and my cheekbones were hollow and frail. I looked as if I hadn't slept for days, as if I hadn't eaten for weeks.

I shook my head, stepping into the hot water.

It's crazy how one person can make such a big impact on your life, isn't it?

**

After taking a shower and getting dressed, I made my way out of my bedroom for the first time in what felt like months. I walked into the kitchen and saw Louis sitting at the table drinking tea.

"Hey," I said blandly.

He didn't respond. I looked at him and noticed that he was staring into his tea, face blank.

"Lou? What's wrong?"

After a few moments, he looked up at me.