Acceptance (Erwin x Female Reader)

His Assistant-Chapter 2

The time had came for your second expedition and it couldn't have gone any smoother. There were no fatalities and you had shown off some of your titan killing skills. Erwin allowed you to give your opinion on their formation plans and last minute decisions on the field, giving you the learning opportunity.

As time flew by some more, the relationship between you and Erwin had turned into a friendship, dropping formalities when working alone, having casual conversations about each other's day, and occasionally crack jokes, but you two always kept things professional. It was no question that you had fallen in love with Erwin but you could never confess. You had great respect for him as the Commander of the Survey Crops. You wouldn't dare... Although you were always curious as to why he was a single man, or if maybe he did have a significant other.

One day the two of you sat down together, drinking some tea and sorting through the last of his paperwork into their belonged files. You started rambling on about your past adventures before joining the Scouts and Erwin listened, he always enjoyed the way you told stories.

Your POV

"... it seemed you had a very good life before becoming a Scout. A good paying job, friends.. Some would say you're crazy for leaving all that behind" Erwin teased.

"Well you're not wrong.." I chuckled "... I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the civilian life."

Erwin chuckled along side me, something I still could never get use too.

"I'm glad you decided to become a Scout, as selfish as I may sound. You will be a great leader and inspire a lot of the new recruits."

"Thank you, although, now I'm a little curious about you." I cautiously mention.

"Oh? Curious about what?" Erwin replies, as he continues to sort through the paperwork.

"About your life outside the Survey Corps" I say to him while leaning closer to the table, hoping to catch his eye so he doesn't change the subject, like he normally does.

"That is nonexistent" Erwin replies.

"Oh come on, surly you've had a little fun in the past at least, or have someone special waiting for you."

Erwin halts what he's doing, and looks up at me, taken back by my statement. That's when I realized what I had said was uncalled for and I became completely embarrassed. Erwin is my Commander before he is my friend after all.

"I-I'm sorry, that was unprofessional and none of my business.." I began to panic a little, hoping that I didn't just ruin my friendship with him.

"No it's fine." Erwin places the papers down and continued "Back in my cadet days I use to go to a bar with my friend. We'd fool around, get drunk, flirt with women. But there was one woman who'd caught both our eyes. Her name was Marie, she worked in the bar and always made sure we never got ourselves into trouble.." he pauses for a second, closes his eyes to see the flashback in his head and smirks "... The two of us were quite taken by her and to tell you the truth, she fancied us both. Around the time we chose our division, she had confessed her feelings to me and I turned her down."

I was surprised at how much Erwin was opening up, and to be honest, it stung a little... the thought of Erwin with another woman, but the story had gotten so interesting,
"But why? You two had mutual feelings"

"Isn't it obvious? ..I've had my mind set on becoming a Scout since my father passed away. The Survey Corps is no place to be having a family, she would have lived her life everyday wondering if I were alive, We'd spend more time apart then together. That wasn't the life I wanted for her. So I let her go and encourage my friend to pursue his feels towards her, he could give her the life she deserved and I was ok with that, in a way, I'm married to the Survey Corps and I'm not ashamed."

Erwin's story had made me feel a little sad, and to be honest, a little uncomfortable, Erwin had opened up to me and I couldn't think of what to say. I regretted asking him but I wanted Erwin to feel like he could tell me anything.

"That's depressing sir." That was the only response that I could think of saying but it earned another chuckle from Erwin, which made me feel a little relieved.

"Isn't it?" Erwin says

"I see where you're coming from, about the Survey Corps not being a place for love and families, but I have to disagree. Yes our time here may be shorter than others, but that doesn't mean that we should be deprived of love. Being loved and giving love is what makes us stronger, and for some people, gives them a reason to fight harder. I do understand wanting to avoid the pain of loving someone and sparing someone's love for you. But you should know, ignoring your emotions doesn't mean it's not there."

Not denying what I said, Erwin replies "That's a fair point."

The two of us continue to sort through the paperwork in an awkward silence, until we had finally finished and Erwin dismisses me for the night.

(Another time skip because I suck)

Nothing new had happen since that night, Erwin and I continue to work along side each other. I was organizing Erwin's book shelf, quietly humming a lullaby that my mother use to sing to me. Erwin never comments on my humming but I could tell he secretly enjoys it.

There is a knock on the door. Levi walks in after Erwin granted permission.

"What can I do for you Levi?"

"I need to borrow your pet." Levi always referred to me as Erwin's little pet because I apparently always follow him around and fetch him whatever he wants/needs.

"I told you to stop calling me that." I said annoyed while rolling my eyes to the back of my head.

Levi crosses his arms again his chest,
"Too bad. You don't get to choose your nickname brat."

"What do you need her for?" Erwin asks, breaking up our little argument.

"I need your pet to supervise my mutts while they clean the mess hall."

"Very well." Erwin sighs

I pout my lip at Erwin and he gives me a sympathetic look.

"Let's go brat , I don't have all day."