Loud Like Love

Chapter Seven: Post Blue

Brian smiled. 'That's good. That's the whole point.'

They stayed like that for a while. Brian kept stroking Nick's hair gently, and soon Nick drifted off to sleep. When he woke up, he felt much better, though still a bit shaky and anxious. Brian was sitting at the edge of the bed with his Fender Precision bass (which Nick had geeked out over like crazy the first time he had come to visit). He was wearing jeans, but no shirt. Nick sat up and put his arms around his neck.

'Hey.' Brian put the bass down and turned his head to kiss him softly on the lips. 'Feeling any better?'

Nick nodded. 'What time is it?'

'About four. Have to get to the venue by six for the sound check. Still feel up to coming to the gig?'

'Yeah,' said Nick automatically, because he really wanted to feel up to it.

'Think you can eat something? Or would you like a spliff first, maybe?'

'That might be helpful, yeah. Maybe I'll be hungry after.'

Brian smiled at him and opened the drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a sizeable bag of weed, a bowl, some tobacco, and rolling papers. He mixed weed and tobacco in the bowl and started rolling a spliff that he handed to Nick, getting a lighter out of his pocket. He lit it for him, and Nick took a long drag, leaning back on the bed and feeling the smoke fill his lungs. He felt almost instantly more relaxed.

'I'll go make you a sandwich or something,' said Brian, getting up.

Nick smoked the joint on his own, feeling the calm fill him. Then, somewhere, his phone rang, and he fumbled around with his jeans until he found it in a pocket. It was Zoë. He answered it. 'Hey.'

'Hey, little brother. How's Birmingham?'

'All right. Going to Brian's concert tonight.'

'You sound tired.'

'Got a bit late last night. We stayed in,' Nick lied. 'Talked until like four in the morning. It was nice.' It wasn't like he could tell Zoë that he'd been to a nightclub, much less that he'd taken MDMA and kissed Dave while high. Still, lying to her wasn't easy. 'Hey, I haven't got any shifts until Wednesday, might stay a couple of nights extra.'

He heard her sigh. 'You sure that's a good idea?'

'Feels like a good idea.'

'Well, I'm back to Nottingham tomorrow evening, so I suppose I'm not here anyway. I'll let Richard know.' She paused. 'He's worried about you. I'm worried about you, too. It's been more than two months. Don't you think it's time to—'

'To what? Get over it? Zoë . . . I can't. I'm trying. That's what this is for. I need to be away from Windfield Green occasionally if I'm going to manage that. Brian is taking care of me, I promise.'

Just then, Brian entered the room with a sandwich. 'That your sister?' he asked. 'Let me talk to her.'

Nick hesitated. It wasn't actually a bad idea. Brian was a good sweet talker. Perhaps he could convince her. Nick pressed the mute button for a moment and said, 'If she asks, we stayed in last night, talking until four A.M., okay?' Then he unmuted the phone. 'Would you like to talk to Brian?'

'Okay,' said Zoë, and he handed Brian his phone.

'Hey,' said Brian. 'Yeah, not too bad, you? Yeah, we stayed in last night. My band is playing tonight. Yup. Of course not. I'm looking after him, I promise. Wouldn't let anything happen to him. Mhm. Listen, Zoë, we both love Nick and want what's best for him, okay? I know. Would you like him back? Okay, you take care, now.' He handed the phone back to Nick.

'Hey,' he said.

'Hey again. Okay, he seems all right, I guess. But you go home on Tuesday at the latest, okay?'

'I promise.'

* * *

Dave felt like shit on Saturday. Not because he was hungover (although he was a bit), but because of what had happened. Patrick had been right, Nick had seemed high as a kite. Alcohol didn't do that to him, and he knew Brian had given him cocaine that time back in March. He suddenly felt absolutely furious with the guy. Not because he was shagging Nick, but because he was getting him wasted. That sounded like someone who didn't give a shit. Matt had said so, he'd said that Brian wasn't the sort to think about the consequences. He should tell Matt about what had happened. Maybe he could do . . . something.

He wrote a text.

Dave: Hey. Could you give me a ring when you've got a minute?

It didn't take more than half an hour before Matt rang him. 'Hey, you okay?'

'Yeah. No, not really. Patrick and I went to that club you told us about, last night. I . . . I ran into Nick. And I guess the guy with him must have been Brian.'

'Aww, that sucks, mate. You all right?'

'I guess. Just . . . Look, I think Nick was high. Like, high as fucking balls. He . . . He came up to me, and he started kissing me. Nick would never do that. Even if he was drunk, I can't imagine that he'd . . . I dunno.'

'Fuck . . . I know that Brian's into some stuff. It's not like he shoots up heroin or smokes crack or anything, it's weed and party drugs. But I fucking thought Nick was smarter than that.'

'Yeah, well, he's pretty fucked up at the minute, I guess.' Dave sighed heavily.

'I'll talk to him. We're rehearsing on Tuesday, I'll have a chat with him then. Probably not much point in doing it now, think it needs to be face to face, but I'll do my best, okay?'

'Yeah. Cheers.' Dave paused. 'It was bad, Matt. Brian had to drag him away. I've never seen him like that, ever. He called me his boyfriend, it was almost like he was delusional.' He felt tears pressing at the back of his eyes. 'I'm really fucking worried.'

'Hey, it's okay. I'll do what I can, I promise.'

'Okay. Thank you. Just . . . Thanks.'

They hung up, and Dave stared at his phone. He wanted to ring Patrick, but at the moment it felt like if he did, it was because of Nick, and he didn't want to lay that on Patrick's shoulders any more than he already had.

He really, really liked Patrick. He wanted it to work out, wanted to be with him. And that wasn't because of Nick, it was something he genuinely wanted. Needed. Last night had made him want him even more, because of how kind and understanding and just frankly wonderful he had been. He'd never met anyone like him before. Anyone else would have broken it off right there and then, thinking it wasn't worth it. If there was one thing they had both realised last night, it was that Dave really wasn't over Nick, and in spite of that, Patrick still wanted to be with him.

A couple of hours later, however, he got a text from Patrick.

Patrick: Hey. Need to get off campus for a bit. Wanna go to that café you were talking about, in Windfield Green?

Dave smiled.

Dave: Sure. Let me know when you're on your way. x