My Internet Rants.

Men as we know them or do we really?

Im a teenager and naturally highly curious. I am also a girl.

Mixing teenage with girl equals hormones. Unfortunately. And these exact hormones have lead me to a conclusion.

Men are more fucking complicated than women. I have no doubt about that.

Now ofcourse you must be thinking that im just a teenage girl with no experience in the men department. But the truth is that from what i have seen in these short seventeen years is more than enough for me to last a 2 freaking lifetimes.

My opinion and your opinion may differ because of different circumstances and not everyone has the same circumstances i have had. Maybe you are have a blast with the men that surround you. maybe not. But the problem is that im in a gray zone.

What does that mean? It means that men are bipolar undiagnosed.

who are the first male in your life? For most of us they are our fathers.

They are heros. Saviors. Friends. Shoulder. Pillar. Support. Love. And i completely agree. They are this and much more. But not fully. As soon as you get more and more conscious and older and mature you start to see a pattern.

Your number one support becomes your biggest suffocation.

Its a very primal thought and to some extent very true and right that women are to be husbands companion in everything. In difficult times and happy occasions. But it is not forced upon women to kiss their husbands feet when all they do is kick them in the face.

Its funny when i remember the times whenever me and my siblings did something naughty. Broke the rule or the vase. My father always used to blame my mother and say 'look what your kids did.'

And when we scored good or were- well the only good thing we ever did was the occasional scores on test. He would say 'these are my kids.'

I only realised this when i became older and more conscious. And theres our ever so righteous father.

Lets move on to brothers shall we. I have had the misfortune of having two elder brother. Ofcourse its not always a misfortune but for the most part it is.

Only through my brothers have i truly understood the true meaning of Ego. If jealousy is a green monster than ego is a big red fucking dinosaur.

Superiority complex must have been invented in men because lets face it my brothers seem to think that they are superior than me based on the fact they are men. Biologically men. Mentally? Not so much.

I have not had the pleasure of having a better education like my brothers based on the fact im girls. I have failed to make my parents realise that gender matters till a point. And thats some human basic rights are equal for all. according to my mother dearest, the only way to fullfill my dream of foreign education is through marriage. My brothers get whatever they want really.

Lets move on again to my next subject. Friends. Honestly i can say this from experience that girls and boys cannot be close friends without developing feeling and its usually the boys that harbor the secret feelings first. Our society is so fucked and corrupt that its impossible not to have a active imagination of the wrong kind. And yes. There is a wrong kind.

Honest to Allah i hate our society so much. I have had to face so many kind of different mental problems due to society. Especially the class system. The rich looking down upon the poor is mostly accurate. School made me realise that. Most of my 'friends' dont contact me now because of something so fucking stupid like ho i have never been out of my country. How i still dont have a phone even though that not related to money, its only because my parents dont trust me. Only me though my brothers got their way before.

Ofcourse none of them say that out loud. But you can physically feel some things.

Crushes.

Those are the fucking worst of the lot. I hate myself for having crushes and like. The uncertainty, the nervousness, the thoughts. Oh how i hate myself for all those late nights. lying in bed just thinking of a million seniors of how single fucking conversation could go. And the worst part is when your moms bestfriend is crazy rich and has three hot fucking sons. Worse than that? Well your mom keeps dreaming of marrying me off with one of those. Horrible. Because now you cannot stop the thoughts from trickling in your mind. You dont even like them, its just the thoughts.

Honestly rich people intimidate me. they make me put my guard up. They make me fucking hostile men.

Husbands. This is the last one on my list. I have zero personal experience in this sector obviously. But im sure of a few things. husbands want the wives to be totally dependent on them and how the fucking asshole of a commander said in the handmaids tale "fulfilling their biological destinies." Fuck you man!

They want the women to think they have control of things but they dont really give them. the coming of age media gives a picture of how women are independent and how they control their own lives despite having husbands.

I mean i get my hair dyed every now and then just to feel in control of my body. Restrictions fucking suffocate me. especially the ones that are just because someones personal opinion makes a fucking entry.

Now not all men are the same. Im sure. But it hurts my head , heart and stomach to think of the inequality of rights.

Hey i think thats enough of my internet rant. I aint even gonna read this again.