Beautiful Secrets (Cranksepticeye Fanfiction)

~2.12~ Silver Lining

I stumbled down into the kitchen, where Aunt Del and Gramma were talking in low tones about arrangements. I remembered the low tones and arrangements when my mom died. I hated them both. I remembered how much it hurt for life to go on, for aunts and grandmothers to be making plans, calling relatives, sweeping up the pieces when all you wanted to do was crawl into the coffin, too. Or maybe plant a lemon tree, fry some tomatoes, build a monument with your bare hands.
"Where's Jack?" My tone was not low, and I startled Aunt Del. Nothing could startle Gramma.
"Isn't he in his room?" Aunt Del was flustered.
Gramma calmly poured herself another cup of tea. "I believe you know where he is, Ethan."
I did.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Jack was lying on the crypt, right where we had found Macon. He was staring up at the gray morning sky, muddy and wet in his clothes from the night before. I didn't know where they had taken his body, but I understood his impulse to be here. To be with him, even without him.
He didn't look at me, though he knew I was there. "Those hateful things I said, I'll never get to take them back. He never knew how much I loved him."
I lay down next to him in the mud, my sore body groaning. I looked over at him, his brown hair curling, and his dirty wet cheeks. The tears ran down his face, but he didn't try to wipe them away. Neither did I.
"He died because of me." He stared up at the gray sky, unblinking . I wished there was something I could say to make him feel better, but I knew better than anyone that words like that didn't really exist. So I didn't say them. Instead, I kissed all the fingers on Jack's hand. I stopped when my mouth tasted metal, and I saw it. He was wearing my mom's ring on his right hand.
I held up his hand.
"I didn't want to lose it. The necklace broke last night."
Dark clouds were blowing in and out. We hadn't seen the last of the storm, I knew that much. I wrapped my hand around his. "I never loved you any less than I do, right this second."
The gray expanse was just a moment of sunless calm, in between the storm that had changed our lives forever, and the one still to come.
"Is that a promise?"
I squeezed his hand.
Don't let go.
Never.
Our hands twisted into one. He turned his head, and when I looked into his eyes, I noticed for the first time that one was blue, and one was violet.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It was almost noon by the time I started the long walk home. The blue skies were streaked with dark gray and gold. The pressure was building, but it seemed a few hours from breaking. I thunk Jack was still in shock. But I was ready for the storm. And when it came, it would make Anston's hurricane season look like a spring shower.
Aunt Del offered to drive me home, but I wanted to walk. Though every bone in my body ached, I needed to clear my head. I jammed my hands in my jeans pockets and felt the familiar lump. The locket. Jack and I would have to find a way to give it back to the other Ethan Nestor, the one lying in his grave, just as Genevieve had wanted us to. Maybe it would give Ethan Carter Nestor some peace. We owed them both that much.
I came down the steep road leading up to Ravenwood and found myself once again at the fork in the road, the one that had seemed so frightening before I knew Jack. Before I knew where I was going. Before I knew what real fear felt like, and real love.
I walked past the fields and down Route 9, thinking if that first drive, that first night in the storm. I thought about everything, how I had almost lost my dad and Jack. How I had opened my eyes to see him staring at me, and all I could think was how lucky I was. Before I realized we had lost Macon.
I thought about Macon, his books tied with string and paper, his perfectly pressed shirts, and his even more perfect composure. I thought about how hard things were going to be for Jack, missing him, wishing he could hear his voice one more time. But I would be there for him, the way I wish someone had been there for me when I lost my mom. And after the past few months, after my mom sent us that message, I didn't think Macon was really gone, either. Maybe he was still out there somewhere, looking out for us. Hee had sacrificed himself for Jack, I was sure of that.
The right thing and the easy thing are never the same. No one knew that better than Macon.
I looked up at the sky. The swirls of gray were seeping across the flat blue, as blue as the paint on my bedroom ceiling. I wondered if that one shade of blue really kept the carpenter bees from nesting. I wondered if those bees really thought it was the sky.
It's crazy what you see if you aren't really looking.
I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and turned it on. There was a new song on the playlist.
I stared at it for a long time.
Seventeen Moons.
I clicked on it.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Seventeen moons, seventeen years,
Eyes where Dark or Light appears
Violet for yes and blue for no,
Seventeen the last to know.

The End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~