it's all complicated • ashannie

t r e c e

It is better to break your own heart than having the same person breaking your heart everyday.

🎞

Julianna

Asher has been out a lot lately.

He comes home late.

And he barely even talks to me.

When I try to he just snaps at me.

And well he slaps me every now and then.

His good boy act ended after a week after what happened with isaak.

He's been wanting to have sex but I just don't feel comfortable I still feel weird every time asher kisses me or tries to turn me on.

He always gets mad and yells at me and you know the usual.

We have kissed and placed our hands in different positions but I just can't sleep with him. At least not anytime soon.

Although I think I'm ready. I mean he has been a bit understanding and he hasn't gotten any action.

And he surprised me with a comment he made earlier in the week.

He said he wanted a baby, and that when I was ready we can try it out.

And well my mom wants grandkids, I'm almost 19 so I think I'm old enough.

And with his help we can raise it.

So when he gets home from work I'm talking to him about it.

And hopefully we can try tonight.

Maybe a baby will lighten up my mood. Ive been feeling down, a lot actually.

I barely eat and I just cry.

I think I'm honestly depressed.

I hear the door open and soon enters Asher.

He sits down on the stools of our kitchen.

He looks stressed.

Maybe i should tell him about the baby topic later.