it's all complicated • ashannie

c i n c o

Just because someone desires you,
it doesn't mean that he values you.

🎞

Julianna

"Where'd you go?" He asks as I arrive home

"It's Saturday, I went to visit my mom"

"Oh okay, how is she doing?"

"She's keeping up. She asked me about you."

"Really What'd She day? You didn't tell her about what's been happening now did you?"

Yes asher I told tell her how you always mention her to make me feel bad. How you constantly beat me up for nothing.

"No, she did say something that made me happy."

"What?"

"She said she wants grandkids, and us to get married. She says she doesn't know how much she will last in there and she might miss out on everything"

"Haha the fuck? Us having kids? Never. I can barely deal with you let alone another creature running around. Fuck no. And us getting married? What does she want? To death due us apart? We don't know if we'll even be together. She's talking stupid and nonsense shit."

I look at him in disbelief my smile turning into a frown I trying to hold back the tears.

"You really don't want to spend your life with me or have a family?"

"No Julianna I don't, at least I don't think so"

"Fine, then I don't even know why we're together!"

I yell as I start to walk upstairs but I didn't even make it up the first step before being pulled back by my hair

He holds the back of my head in his hand.

"Julianna what did I tell you about yelling at me! And we're together because we make each other feel good!"

"What so you're just with me for sex? You don't love me anymore and just use me to make yourself feel good?"

"That's not what I meant, but yeah. But I do love you Annie I truly do" he slowly let's go of me but I step back.

"It doesn't seem like it, you constantly hit me and you always get mad at me and... Kenzie's right about you"

"Kenzie? What the fuck does she have to do with anything?"

"She's right I deserve much better. These past 4 years only 2 of them were filled with love the rest it's just us fighting"

"Don't fucking listen to her! She doesn't know shit! And you!"

He Stops before slapping me.

"You're stupid for believing her!"

He pushes me down and I fall onto the ground.

"Asher stop!"

He kicks me in my stomach, I clutch it in pain.

"I can do whatever I want, you're my girlfriend! And you deserve much more than just this!"

"Please just stop!" I sob in pain

But he kicks me over and over again.

He stops and yells at me.

But I can't hear a word he says.

It's as if the world had just stopped and all I hear is the sound of my last heartbeats.

I watch him walk away, grabbing his keys and jacket and slamming the door shut.

I try to get up, trying to hold myself up but my arms are far too weak.

I have the urge to cough, but all I feel is pain as I spit out blood.

Drop by drop, on my wooden floor.

I fall back down, feeling the liquid hit my cheek.

I lay there until my eyes close.

And now it's goodbye?

Is this what dying feels like?

I guess I'll never know.