Love in Reality

All's Well That Ends Well

Nelson picks up the package and reads the back.

NELSON

Not bad. Less moving parts than the Sprinkle-Wash at least.

The other people watching dissipate.

NELSON (CONT’D)

I’ve been meaning to ask you, do you know what happened to Tessa? Your final television interview was the last I saw of her. I’ve been thinking of doing an update show.

David beckons Nelson to follow, and they walk over to the television. David picks up the remote and turns on the television. He starts flipping channels.

DAVID VERDIN

If we’re lucky, we might catch a glimpse...

NELSON

You’re kidding. She got what she wanted? She’s on television?

DAVID VERDIN

Not exactly what she wanted. Oh, here we are.

David stops on a television channel. There’s Tessa, smiling and holding up an AEROSOL CAN. A MALE VOICE voices over her actions.

MALE VOICE (V.O.)

Picking up your dog’s poop can be such a chore. It’s messy, smelly, and it gets everywhere. No longer, with Poop-Freeze.

The television cuts to Tessa outdoors, in a summer dress and pearls. She’s still smiling, waiting while the dog in front of her CRAPS on a lawn. It’s a big dog.

TESSA JONES

Poop-Freeze instantly turns your dog’s mushy turd into something neat and manageable. Just give it a spray with Poop-Freeze.

Tessa leans down and sprays the dog’s poop with the aerosol can. The dog’s poop freezes.

DAVID VERDIN

And this is my favorite part.

MALE VOICE (V.O.)

Amazing!

Tessa leans down and with a plastic bag, picks up the poop. Instead of just tossing it, she holds it up, smiling, near her face. Claire comes up behind David and Nelson to watch.

MALE VOICE (V.O.)

Look at that. You could almost use this as a centerpiece, folks.

CLAIRE LE MAYES

Go back a couple channels, would you?

David flips back two channels. A reality television show is playing. John shows up on screen.

JOHN

Up next, the most dramatic heart ritual yet. But first, a recap of last week’s The Woman of Your Dreams episode.

Both Claire and David turn to look at Nelson. He points at himself proudly.

NELSON

My idea.

They all watch the television. A WOMAN is confronting a MAN, sobbing hysterically.

WOMAN

I can’t believe...I can’t believe you’re a gigolo!

MAN

Male escort.

The woman sobs all the harder. She starts to walk away. The man follows after her.

MAN

Please, don’t go! I’m sorry you had to find out through one of my clients. I was ashamed! 

She shuts a door on him.

MAN

I still love you!

David tosses the remote onto the couch and pulls Claire in close.

DAVID VERDIN

They ain’t got nothing on us, babe.

Claire smiles, but then turns to regard the drama unfolding on the television, contemplative.

CLAIRE LE MAYES

Well, you never know...

FADE OUT

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