sock

sock x jhon but i actually put effort into it

i have not written a proper fanfiction in 2 years let's do this

uh fuck i forgot how to write

it was a lovely day outside. jhon was at a bar wearing this and he looked sexy

there was a hole in the back so you could see his glistening back hair (with lice).
"can you just put a frozen sock in a blender and give it to me?" he asked the bartender when he sat down.
unfazed, the bartender obliged and walked away to make his drink.
as jhon waited, he saw a stunning piece of cloth walk in and sit on the stool next to him.

jhon started at the sock beside him as his face erupted into a dark blush.

suddenly the sock spoke.
"sugoi, senpai!! you are so kawaii!!! (*'ω'*)"

jhon did not know how to react so he pissed himself out of panic.

"omg im so sorry this usually doesn't happen"
"indayo!! you are so okashi, jhon-sama!!! o(^▽^)o"
the man froze, and responded by saying "nani the fuck" without thinking as to impress her with the fairly small amount of japanese he knew.
the sock didn't mind it and just kept talking to him, with short, sweet sentences such as "omae wa mou shindeiru o(｀ω' )o" which he didn't understand but it still made his heart pound anyway.

after quite a few hours, the sock has told him many things, but the one thing that she seemed upset about was her missing sister.
"she went missing today, so i went here to take my mind off it. tameiki, i hope we find her soon (；ω；)"
finally, jhon's drink arrived.
"i added belle delphine's bathwater to it, too." the bartender told him, before walking over to another customer.

as jhon was going for a sip, the sock gasped.
"NANITE KOTODA!! IS THAT MY SISTER??? HOW DARE YOU??? SHINE, KUSO YARO!!! ∑(ﾟДﾟ)"
before the piece of cloth could attack him, jhon took a sip of the drink. it tasted like shit and he was definitely going to get some sort of disease from it but he was shameless and he was going to fucking drink that garbage if it was the last thing he was gonna do.
but he also didn't want the last thing he saw before he died to be a sock with poop patterns on it, so he booked it out of the bar while trying to pour the drink into a to-go box with a moldy french fry stuck to the top.

soon enough, jhon got to safety in his house. he set the to-go box on the kitchen counter and stared at it.

"fuck socks. i don't need them to make me happy. that being said," he opened up the box "im going to fucking drink this poo water."

he drank it and died the end

translations according to google
(japanese)
sugoi- wow
senpai- master (i hate google)
kawaii- cute
indayo- it's fine
okashi- funny
nani- what
tameiki- sigh
nanite kotoda- oh my god
shine- die
kuso yaro- fucker