Breaking the Divide (remastered) - Cullen Rutherford

Chapter 23: Partings are not Sweet Sorrow

Cullen stared up at the hole in his ceiling while he watched the sky turn from dull grey to dull blue. He rubbed at his eyes, trying and failing to find sleep. Glancing to the empty space beside him, he wondered if he should've accepted Tavell's offer after all. To hold a woman close. To feel the heartbeat of a lover against his chest while lips slipped along warm skin. To relax in another's arms in dim candlelight and feel safe there until the next day came. Maker, but he missed all of that. He longed for it. Ached for it, even.

And Kaitlyn hadn't come.

With a groan, Cullen forced himself to sit up, mentally preparing for the day ahead of him. He'd almost disentangled himself from his blankets when a faint creaking caught his attention. The soft tread of boots on stone crept along beneath him in the direction of his desk. Cullen scoffed. Scouts had tried to change the roster before—moving their names to better shift positions. Apparently, they hadn't learned their lesson.

Dragging his feet along the boards to keep their groans silent so they wouldn't give him away, Cullen took his pitcher—water sloshed around inside—and made his way over to the railing. He stood there, pitcher dangling over the side, waiting for the intruder's head to come into view.

Cullen dumped the entirety of the water onto the scout's brown hair the instant he saw the scout's uniform. They shrieked and sputtered. A faint barrier formed around them as they whipped about before finally turning to look up at him.

Oh, Fuck.

"Kaitlyn!" Cullen yelled as he tossed the pitcher aside and scrambled for the ladder. He missed one of the rungs halfway and barely caught himself before he smashed into the floor. He shook out his hurt wrist for a moment, cheeks burning as he came up to her. "I am so sorry, Inquisitor, I didn't think you—I never would've—forgive me."

He grabbed his jacket, which had been on the back of his chair, and used it to blot at her hair and shoulders.

"I'm not hurt." She smiled, but pulled away when he tried to keep drying her. Her eyes flicked up to his loft before settling back onto his face. "I should've knocked, but I didn't want to, uh, wake you up or anything."

"No, I should've known better. I thought you were trying to change the duty roster, but I didn't even think to make sure of who you were before..." He groaned and ran a hand through his hair as mortification settled in, making his face feel freshly baked. "I am so incredibly sorry, I—"

"It's all right, Cullen." Her voice was gentle and reassuring but a sadness lingered in her eyes even as her smile broadened.

"I'll fetch you a change of clothes."

"There's no time for that."

He stopped, half-turned. "What do you mean?"

Kaitlyn walked to the desk and picked up a letter that hadn't been there the night before. Droplets of water had splashed onto the surface and she shook them off absently. "I suppose I don't need to give you this anymore." Another sad smile. "I wanted to let you know that I'm... I'm leaving again. For longer than usual, this time."

"Where?"

"Val Royeaux first. Alexius came forward with information about a woman called Calpernia—it seems she's another general in Corypheus' army and a few of Leliana's spies have already found leads to her location. After that, I'm continuing with Hawke and the Wardens to the Western Approach."

"That's nearly a month's ride from here."

"I know." She shifted in place, fingers tight around the letter.

"Can't it wait? Celene's ball is only three months away."

"That's why I have to go now. In fact, I probably should've left the moment the Wardens arrived." She moved a half-step closer to him. The water had added a slight curl to her dark hair. It looked beautiful. "If we wait any longer, then I won't be able to join you at the Winter Palace in time."