Je T'aime Peintre

Chapter Three - Journey to Find Love

I waited eagerly to meet my love again and was counting down the days since one month ago. Finally that day arrived. It was a tiring red-eye flight but I could not sleep in the plane and kept thinking about the different scenarios when we eventually meet.

After landing at the London Heathrow airport, I rushed to clear the customs and picked my luggage from the luggage carousel without grasping for air. As soon as I reached the arrival gate, I saw this young man in a black Adidas pullover, the man I had been longing to see!

We took a long hug and it was blissful to feel that familiar body warmth again, and we kissed. As the weather was chilly, we headed to take a bus to the University directly though the journey took longer compared to the subway. The bus journey took about an hour and we had so much to chat and discussed about the places that we planned to visit in the coming weeks. Then he told me that there was a farewell party with his friends and that I could settle down in his room and have a good rest since I did not catch a wink in the flight, that was a good idea I thought! When we arrived at the university, we met some of his friends along the way to his dormitory, some that I knew as they were Singaporeans whom we met back home during their first year vacation. After bringing me to his room, Bob left for the party and I went to take a shower.

A long warm shower in a cold weather was like a horny man having sex and ended with a massive orgasm, it felt so good. As I was feeling a little bored after my shower, I browsed Bob's room a bit, wanting to feel the life that he was leading for the past two years. I saw love letters from me and in between, I saw notes left by a girl called Christine... the note said that she cleaned his room and there were a few love messages too. Now I gathered the reasons for the pink razors in the shower! My heart crushed and my tears came rolling down uncontrollably, and I wanted to head home immediately! For hours, I laid motionlessly on the bed and kept thinking if we should continue with the planned holidays in London, Paris and Scotland. I felt like dying.

In the middle of the night, there were sounds of keys and the door opened. Bob entered quickly. I was still filled with anger triggered by the sense of betrayal, I rose from the bed. As my intuition was always strong, I questioned him about the pink razor, the love notes and his relationship with this girl but all he did was to remain silent. My heart broke into pieces as he did not even try to defend himself, which meant I had been correct about my suspicion.... My world was brutally torn apart and my love and sacrifices for this man right before me had been a waste of my effort and I was at a total loss of what to do next. I missed my friends and my family at that moment because I cannot trust this man I used to love, and I was all alone with him in this country that I had never visit, let alone the next few weeks which we planned to visit... I broke down and cried non-stop, like never before.

Hours and hours passed, but I still could not sleep, and soon I felt sun rays shining into the bedroom. Though I was very upset with his infidelity and heartbroken, we had decided to proceed with the holidays because the train tickets were paid for and changing my air ticket to go back to Singapore now might costs me extra charges. To be honest, I still wished to carry on with this long awaited trip and in my heart, I was willing to forgive him if he was ready to end their relationship and commit to ours, once again.

We did our final packing of the toiletries and clothes, left his dormitory, and took a train from the Surrey town to London which is the first stop of our holidays. The ride was about forty-five minutes but it felt like a day because I continue to feel emotionally drained from what happened. It was not enjoyable and I just wished that time passed fast so that I could leave this place, this man, and go back to my comfort zone in Singapore.

In the train, I could not stop my tears from falling down my cheeks. Bob comforted me but instead I felt so disgusted with him for what he had done and scolded him in the cabin for what he did. I did not deserve that at all. There was a young couple facing us in a few rows away, watched and wonder what happened because we were communicating in Mandarin, our common language back home. Bob kept silent, like what he did last night, and I said to him "I have not done anything wrong and I shouldn't be the one crying, you should!". Upon hearing this, he walked away but I do not know where... When he returned to the seat after about ten minutes, we just sat next to each other, peacefully until we reached London Victoria station.