purity ring / lashton

05 / holy regret

his black denim jeans were on the floor next to the couch, so he snagged them and ran to the kitchen. to his surprise, calum was sipping at a mug, presumably coffee. he raised his eyebrows at luke's exposed underwear. "whoa, i owe him five bucks," he said and placed the mug down on the counter.

"what?" luke demanded, squaring his eyes at a leather wallet that he pulled out.

"didn't think he'd get you to do anything. i guess i was wrong," calum chuckled. "how's it feel to be a man?"

luke's heart sunk. what the heck? he stomped back into the living room, but not before insisting in a shrill voice that he would never do anything with ashton. he didn't even know him! he saw the curly blonde fidgeting with the bandana he's taken off his head.

"you bet calum five dollars that you'd get me to do it?"

michael's head perked up from where he was petting his cat on the window sill, glaring at ashton. "you what?"

"no, no, no," ashton sighed. "it wasn't like that. when calum invited me to your party, he told me that you had a cute ass friend and that he's my type and shit, so i bet him that i'd fuck. it wasn't you specifically, and it was all in fun. it wasn't my only intention."

only, meaning it was one of them.

luke's heart was beating fast. "i need to get home," he breathed, refusing to look ashton in the eye. "can i use your phone to call my mom? mine died."

"i'll drive you," ashton spat out before michael could even say yes. "please? i'll buy you breakfast on the way as an apology. i know your hungover ass wants some bacon."

"no," luke mumbled bashfully. he didn't want to be alone with ashton anymore knowing what he truly thought of him. his decision was to just cut ties with him today and not associate with him any more. one night of sinning was enough for him. "michael?"

michael tossed his phone to luke and then shook his head at ashton. the curly haired boy raised his hands in defeat, getting up and walking to the kitchen. luke felt uncomfortable, but not because he was hitting on him. he felt uncomfortable because, well . . .

he kind of liked it.

the attention from ashton mixed with the liberation of doing something that didn't fit inside the cookie cutter of his life was thrilling. he would probably always have a nagging yearning in the back of his mind to do it again. but he wouldn't. it was much too selfish to do that to god.

"mom? yeah, it's me. i forgot to plug my phone in last night before i went to sleep and it died. sorry," he mumbled against michael's phone screen. "can you come pick me up? i'm ready to go."

when he hung up he locked eyes with michael who was smirking, though for why luke was unsure. if anything, luke should've be looking at him like that since he knows all about his little gay sexcapades.

it was sort of weird knowing his best friend liked boys. what if he had a crush on him?

before he could stop them, the words fell from his lips like a tumbleweed. "did it hurt?"

michael was surprised. he didn't expect luke to want to speak about it. more so expected him to push it under the rug and try not to think about it. with his religious upbringing, he was sure luke would be somewhat of a phobe. they'd never discussed anything like that. the past had brought on unnecessary arguments involving the reality of religion and he thought it best to just let luke live in his fairytale.

"did what hurt?"

luke blushed, gathering his things and stuffing them in his night bag. "you know," he muttered.

"um, yeah, a little," michael replied, slightly uncomfortable himself. it felt like discussing sex with a child. "but then it didn't. and it felt good."

they both went quiet. it was perfect timing that the two older boys tumbled into the living room, calum having just shoved ashton over something he'd said, laughs erupting from both of them. luke watched ashton subtly.

he was very handsome, there was no denying that. it was kind of intimidating, how attractive he was. he always thought calum was, too, in a forbidden fruit kind of way. but ashton? luke shuddered. just as he was thinking this, their eyes met. luke tried to play it off by looking down at his lap, but when he looked back up, ashton was staring directly at him from where he was sitting on the couch.

they shared a heated moment of eye contact as luke tried his darnedest not to look away. the corner of ashton's mouth perked up in a sly, knowing way. luke cleared his throat, pressing his lips together.

"oh, just fuck already."

calum had said it. he was sitting next to michael, who was gently touching calum's arm with his fingertips. luke grew annoyed.

he glanced out the window and sighed in relief that his mom was here. "ihavetogo, byemichael!" he slurred out, throwing his bag over his shoulder. on his way past the three boys, he heard ashton swear at calum.

in michael's driveway there was three vehicles. one was his mom's sedan that she'd had since he was seven. one was michael's car that he could only drive during the daytime, his uncle's handed down truck. and the other was a shiny, black sports car. luke didn't recognize it by looking at it, but glancing at the rear as he slid into the passenger's seat, he saw it was a corvette.

"who's car is that?" luke's mom asked with interest sparkled in her tone.

"oh, uh . . . michael's friend," he said softly, trying to act like he hadn't done very bad things last night. he wondered if he smelled like alcohol, or looked hungover. or if his mom couldn't even tell.

she hummed. "it's gorgeous," was all she said as she backed out of the driveway. luke sighed in relief, letting go of the strap of his bag. "what did michael say about your new ring?"

that was kind of ironic. asking what michael thought of his purity ring the morning after he had sex under the same roof as luke. he tried to clear his mind of the thought and the picture of ashton popping into his vision. a shiver ran down his spine and he focused on the blur of green flying past his window.

"oh, uh . . . he said it was cool," he lied, as it hadn't even come up in conversation. michael would never tease him about it, but he wasn't too keen on his church antics. "what are you doing today, mom?"

she bummed. "got to go to the grocery store but before that i was thinking about going to costco and picking out some new patio furniture. wanna' join?"

despite feeling terrible in his head and stomach, he lit up like a firework and grinned. luke nodded eagerly, loving wholesome days with his mom where they did nothing but had a great time. as they chatted about what theme to go with decor-wise, he totally forgot about some punk named ashton.