PERFECTLY INSECURE

Chapter 10 "Twisted between decisions "

I was shocked to turn around and see Aqua . I was glad that it was Aqua because if it was her mom or the butler I wouldn't know what to do .I quickly came up with an excuse . " I was looking for the kitchen so that I could get some ice cream and i came into the wrong room " I quickly said. I hate having to lie to Aqua all the time . Aqua said" okay , I was searching for you but couldn't find you , let's go swimming ". I didn't want to go swimming because I am so skinny and I feel weird wearing a bath suit . Therefore I decided to swim in a shorts and a blouse that way my thin body wouldn't show .
Sometimes I found myself walking weird because I have no shape and I don't want to walk and persons laugh at me .I am shaped like a stick that has a straight shape no curves like my mother and my sister .I quickly put on the shorts with a big skirt to cover over the shorts because my bottom is flat .
       On my way out Aqua told me that her neighbor which is a boy would be accompanying us at the pool with two other girls . I feel insecure around boys because they normally belittle girls that are skinny . The standard of beauty has change to boys wanting thick girls that have shape , breast , hips and bottom .They don't want any skinny girls and skinny girls are referred to has mawga and crawny .Therefore I try my best to wear big clothing that will help to hide my skinniness .I don't have pretty privileged at all . If I walk pass a group of guys they will only laugh at me , they wouldn't cat call me because I am not the ideal look good type .
               Aqua and I walked to the pool together ,"why didn't you put on a swim suite ?" , Aqua asked . " I didn't bring any " , I lied . That's okay I will lend you one of mines ", she replied . "I feel comfortable in what I have on ", I told her . " no you  can't meet my friends dress like that " , Aqua replied . "Yes I can , they won't even notice me " . "You are precious and you are a rare gem ", Aqua told me . Then she started to sing " it's time to boss up , get credit , get you bag up hit that gym and get bag up , go get that degree , unlock potential you never knew you had " girl it's time for you to accept yourself and be proud of who you are . Aqua finally convinced me to wear a two piece even though I wasn't confident about wearing it at first . I felt so confident now .

      Aqua and I walked to the pool in our bikini and has i was walking to the pool side , One of the guys look on me and start to laugh . " skinny persons like you should not wear bikini " he laughed . I laugh also to hide the pain I was feeling .Then he said to Aqua " you look good and healthy in it , you should wear bikini and not that other skinny girl . I could see Aqua laughing a bit , then she stopped and look at me " leave my friend alone Jerrold, you are skinny too"."skinny guys are attractive but skinny girls are not attractive " he said .
            I went in the pool and turn my back to them has tears trickle down my face .  I couldn't control the tears I wanted to disappear , no matter how much I eat , I can never gain weight .My metabolism is too high . This is the main reason why I didn't want to wear the bath suit because I have no shape . Why couldn't I be born with something special about me , there is nothing special about that makes me stand out .
         My phone started to ring and I got a call from the FBI ,I had save there number has fantasia. I did this incase Aqua saw my phone she wouldn't become suspicious . Every minute that fantasia person is calling you don tell me that you got a new best friend . Fantasia is my aunt , she is not my best friend , I lied . The more I became affiliated with the FBI the more lies I have to tell.
      I only told them about what I heard about the kidnapping of children and trafficking them for money and I wanted to save the information about Aqua until later . I wanted to make sure the information I had is accurate .What if the article was referring to a baby that look similar to Aqua . I wanted to make sure that baby Gemma was Aqua .
      The next day was school and this would be my last day with Aqua . The boys were talking to Aqua and the other girls but wasn't talking to me . I don't have the ideal face or body . Therefore nobody would be interested in me . I am use to boys shunning me and belittling me all the time . Nobody wanted me , I am convinced that I wouldn't get married or have a child  , when I grow older . It will be me alone . This the main reason why my mom treat me the way she did .
          The next day the FBI agent pick me up and carried me to there ware house and collected information from me . She told me if I was able to help her to catch Aqua's mom whose name is crystal and expose her lottery scamming schemes and trafficking of young children then she would help to pay my college tuition and I would be awarded for my courageousness .
           The next day at school I did my work and hang out with my two friends when I got a text from Nathaniel .
Nathaniel- hey what's up ? I was surprised I wonder if i should text him back . Whoooooo is that a message from a boy , Aqua said . My friend has finally got a boyfriend . Miss Nathaniel , I laughed " he is just my friend " i replied. you mean friends with benefits " Aqua replied . Girl it's time for you to get a boyfriend and enjoy your life sweetie
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        He is just my friend nothing more , I replied . When I reach home I started to look up baby Gemma missing from Ohio born in 2001. There was different articles circulating pertaining to baby Gemma . They even went has far a stating how much pound the baby was the night the baby was taken away from her mother and the baby's height . The description of the lady that took baby Gemma was identical to Aqua's mother . This couldn't be possible , could it be that all this time Aqua was a missing baby and didn't know . 
        I thought about telling her but my mind couldn't get me to do so. I felt down , I knew a big secret about my friend. Should I tell the FBI or should I tell Aqua . How would she react . I was stuck between making two decisions. I wanted to gather up enough evidence before I tell Aqua that she was a missing baby and the woman that she thought was her mother is a lady that kidnapped her from her real parents when they left her to baby sit her .
       I didn't reply to Nathaniel, I didn't know what to tell him . Should I tell him am watching a movie and then he would want to know what kind of movie or should I update him on the stuffs that I gathered from the FBI . I was stuck , everything these days has it relates to my life makes my me feel stuck .
Abigail- I'm here texting and watching a movie
Nathaniel- what kind of movie?
Abigail - A mystery movie called , how to get away with murder
Nathaniel- I guess being a recruited Agent for the FBI got to your head .
Abigail- No not at all , I always loved mystery movies .
Nathaniel- okay
Abigail -yes
       The next day  he invited me out after school to go and buy ice cream and go on a walk with him which agreed to do and I told him what I discovered about Aqua . He then told me that the FBI knew about Aqua and that's the reason they started to investigate the lady that she lives in. They want to know how many kids she had kidnapped and traffic to other countries and the amount of persons she had robbed.Therefore they are waiting to tell Aqua about everything . He walked me home in the night and before I could say good night , he kissed me . It was so passionate and pure. I felt like I was in heaven .
          The next day he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was so excited even though he wasn't my first boyfriend but the connection we shared was so strong . I loved him , very much and he loved me also . I told Aqua about the relationship I had with Nathaniel . We stay up late to text each other and then we go on minor dates has he help me to source information for the FBI .
  What do you think of the relationship that Abigail has with Nathaniel , do you think they will last long and Do you think baby Gemma is Aqua . Tune into the next chapter to find out .love you my Q exotics
                                       - Queen exotics