Tonight's Tennants {Bandom Halloween Fic}

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From: releasethepete@aol.com

To: blink-18ryan@aol.com

Subject: found another bodi d00d

hai ry, jw if u cld cum and pik up th clenr lol ull c wut i meen l8r ha ha ha

-P

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Pete waits, just eager for Ryan's reply. But after a few minutes he begins to wonder why Ryan hasn't replied yet. Has he seen the message and is holding off on replying for a bit so he doesn't seem too eager? That's what Pete does when Patrick texts him, so he can see Ryan doing it.

Pete's palms begin to sweat after ten minutes go by and he's about to send him another message when he remembers why Ryan hasn't replied.

He messaged him on AOL. Ryan's too out-of-date to know that AOL is the hippest emailing service on the planet. He uses gmail.

So, after stalking Ryan's twitter to find out his email address, he sends another email, identical to the last, to his gmail account instead.

Pete stares at his phone, trying to block out the fact that there's a dead cleaner behind him which will result in a lot of paperwork and probably another search from the police.

He is so running out of room in his police-that-came-to-search-the-motel's-bodies room on the third floor. There's no way he can fit another murder investigation team.

Within two minutes, Ryan appears at the cleaner's cupboard beside Pete. Why else would Ryan come so quickly if he didn't like Pete? Pete's often asked himself that same question in the bedroom. Although he figures he shouldn't say it out loud, people may get jealous that Ryan likes him and not them. Especially Brendon, the motel's receptionist.

Brendon is the first face you'll see when you enter the motel. And probably the last if you react badly to the rat-spread diseases and the decaying bodies. Apparently most people are affected greatly by asbestos and the plague, Pete had no idea... honesty he just realised and is right on it...

If you don't die from the rat-spread diseases another way to go is the food.

Which you should absolutely eat because Pete says it is edible and Pete's always right. He's never tried it himself though, but it is not because he knows its poisonous and is too cheap to replace it. It's simply because Pete is on a diet.

You keep thinking things like that and you'll find yourself in that special little room on the third floor that was mentioned earlier.

Anyway! Moving on...

A lot of people who come here are junkies and will die on their own account from overdoses. Coincidentally a lot of them also claimed Pete was a terrible manager and that he was poisoning his guests. What a coincidence!!

But besides all the death (and there is a lot, honestly no one's sure why people even come here. Besides Pete of course, who assures us it's fine and remember, Pete's always right) the staff is what really makes the place stand out from the other verging-on-being-shut-down motels. Because really, it's hard to find staff so wonderful in other death-filled motels.

Because they are wonderful. Pete hired the best and if you disagree then you might find yourself in a different room on the third floor that wasn't mentioned earlier. Really, you'd be glad it wasn't.
Besides the threatening egocentric murderous psychotic manager- I mean... the non-threatening eccentric, murderously-hungry(?), psychic-when-it-comes-to-your-feelings-and-needs manager-man Pete, you have a handful of other staff that are not quite as cool and hip and perfect as our lord and saviour: Manager-Man Pete... but still pretty awesome.