Ellasyna [Ceaelie #1] | completed

xi | An Abundance of Secrets

       “Relax,” a deep voice murmured in my ear, making me tense up. “Close your eyes and focus on your surroundings. Your abilities will come to you naturally. You cannot force them upon yourself. That is how you become weak.”

       I tried to do as Samanya asked of me, but the events of the past couple of days blinded me. I couldn’t stop thinking about that man I’d killed, no matter how much I told myself to be stoic. I couldn’t stop pondering how I hadn’t realised who Cam really was. I just couldn’t stop thinking at all.

       “Lose your thoughts, Valia,” he ordered. “Discard them. Clear your mind.”

       “I can’t,” I sighed irritably. “It’s too hard.”

       “Nothing is too hard, Valia,” he replied gruffly. “If you cannot manage the simple task of clearing your mind how are you going to be able to steal the weapon?”

       I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes again, more determined than ever. I inhaled deep, calming breaths and relaxed my shoulders in an effort to calm my whole body. I imagined the never ending fields in Cellatania, imagined the laughter from my sisters, the cool breeze whipping my hair as I ran. I imagined the lake, the trees, and the blinding hot sun warming my skin. And the more I imagined these things the more I felt the world opening up to me.

       I could feel the wind picking up my hair; could hear the chirping of birds around me; could smell the fresh dampness lingering in the air. Nature called to me, surrounded me in its power. I could feel myself opening up, allowing the power in.

       “Good,” Samanya said softly as if not to disturb my progress.

       A warmth unlike any other encircled me, filled me up and made my skin prickle. I imagined the town I’d grown up in, the many houses materialising in my mind, the training fields and Great Hall filling my vision. I imagined my smiling family watching me from afar. But all of a sudden the thoughts turned dark. A mist filled the air and my family stopped smiling. They were looking at me accusingly, as if I’d done something terrible. I saw their looks of distrust and disgust.

       The warmth surrounding me suddenly vanished, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. My skin prickled, and this time not in a good way. The power I’d felt earlier vanished like a light switch being switched off, and I felt nothing but a certain coldness start to take over me.

       Dread settled in my stomach and my eyes snapped open as I stumbled forwards, my heartbeat increasing in fear. I could feel Samanya’s presence and his disappointment behind me. But that was the least of my worries.

       The terror was eating at me and when my eyes roamed up to the forest around me I saw a pair of glowing eyes staring straight at me, waiting. A chill swept down my back as I stared into the eyes, and I had to reach out and lean on a tree to support my now weak weight. I felt drained and tired just from the sudden change in my mood, and I had no idea why.

       “Valia, what happened?” Samanya asked from behind me. “You were doing so well.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

       “Let me ask you something, Valia,” he said, not sharply, but his tone still made me flinch. “What will you do when you do find Ellasyna?”

       I flinched at the name. I hadn’t dared say it aloud. I couldn’t. I didn’t think I ever would. I was unsure of what I would do if I ever found the weapon. Would I take it back to the Commander and become a hero? Would I destroy it? Would I hide it away, and stay longer?

       That last thought made me open my eyes and sigh. I was growing attached to this place - or well, I was. Now all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock. Or better yet, erase what happened last night and go back to normal. But what was normal?