The Way to a Man's Heart...

An Explanation

Hi there everyone!

It's XxTickTockClockxX, or Clocky, or The Extremely Absent Writer.

I understand if you're confused, or angry, or upset, and your emotions on that part are extremely justified. I wasn't writing for a really long time.

I sort of lost my passion for World Trigger over time. There was a time where I knew every character by heart, actively ate up every piece of trivia, checked up on Daisuke Ashihara's condition almost daily, and had a lot of ideas running through my head.

Even during that time, my updates were slow, to say the least.

Then, school suddenly started getting big. I was entering a new school and had no idea how to navigate it, I lost touch with a lot of people, the teachers were unfamiliar to me, the work was harder, and I was suddenly scared and nervous.

During that time, I was still writing, but mostly in bursts that I would lose inspiration for and then half heartedly finish up. I still loved WT, but I wasn't as into it as before.

If you don't know already, my mom's health... isn't good, to say the least. She's getting better, but I still get worried about whether she's going to die every single day. When school started getting big, my mom's health was stabler. At that time, it was mostly because of my waning interest and anxiety about school.

     The last piece of WT writing that I had published was in July 2018, I think. It's been over a year now. I'm really sorry about that.

     I had a one-shot and a few scenarios in the works after I had published the Midorikawa scenario. I was planning to published them one at a time, gradually, as I finished them.

     Then, on December 17, my mom went to the hospital.

     At the time, I was just getting ready for school, but there was an ambulance outside of my house and I didn't know why. My parents seemed calm (despite the fact that my mom was in a stretcher), so I thought, "Oh, it might not be that bad."

     They stayed the night at the hospital and my dad came back very early in the morning to tell us what happened. I'm not going to tell you everything, but apparently one of my mom's lungs collapsed.

     Again, at the time, I didn't know what to think. I don't even know what I felt. For a while, I had no idea what my own emotions were. Was I sad? Angry? Depressed? I just felt... blank, I guess. Not indifferent, but blank.

     My mom stayed in the hospital, switching back and forth from the ICU and occasionally another hospital, until around March. We visited her every so often and I watched her condition get better.

     When she came home, she was (and is) constantly hooked up to an oxygen tank or machine. I help her up and down the stairs, work the machines, bring her things, and do chores in order to help out the house, and it's really uplifting to see her condition get better.

     Sometimes she stagnates, on some days she worsens, but on most days she says that she feels good and that she might not even need the tank in a few months, and maybe go back to work after that.

     We have two nurses that come every weekday from 7 AM to 7 PM and they have been really helpful. I am grateful for them and my mom's slowly improving health.

     I'm also very grateful to my dad, who has been doing literally everything and a job at once whilst still being an incredible parent.

     My sister, who is two years older than me, is also the best. She brings me food, cheers me on, and is my best friend and confidant when I need one.

     I'm not worried about finances (we have enough insurance to take care of a small country, my dad works all the time, and my mom's job pays well and sends her half her paycheck while she hasn't been at work) or my mom's health as much, and while the new school year is approaching and summer camp has been a hellhole again this year, I've been feeling better than I have in months.

     If you've stuck around for so long, thank you so much. Thank you for those who have reassured me, encouraged me, and have talked to me throughout the times. I'm really grateful, and I owe you so, so much.

     If you haven't and are just reading this now, I understand. Thank you so much for reading my works, and I hope that you'll find another writer to enjoy.

     If you're new, then... hi! Thanks for reading this; I hope that I can entertain you with my extremely sporadic updates and stupid shenanigans.

     Thank you so much to whoever reads this. It sort of became a venting-type-thing, but it feels really nice to just type it all out. I hope you continue to read my works as I start to get into WT again (or, maybe, other fandoms!).

     I have no idea what to say right now other than this: Thank you, I hope that I can grab your attention and brighten up your day just a tiny bit with my writing, and have a fantastic life.

     I would say that the first real chapter for this will come soon, but I don't want to jinx myself!

                               Thanks again,
The Author