Lost Without You

Chapter Two ~ Saving Glances

It took a full year for John to saunter on back to the city he once called home. He didn't fully know or understand where he was in the world. So traveling from one place to another was nothing to him, except for the long blood trail that seemed to follow him everywhere. As the voice wanted people dead before their time, just like what happened to Jaren. The brutal killings often left the victims dismembered and deformed haphazardly. This left the families broken as well as the police that deals with it. Just like what happened to John, but they could never imagine the pain he had felt in that one awful moment. Nothing in the world could be compared to his pain. Though the voice in his head keeps pushing him forward, telling him to act 'normal' in public but becomes a killer puppet as soon as the eyes are off him. 

He was also told to take the money from his victims, an easy living it says. So once he finally made it home he was told to rent a specific apartment. The very one that he and Jaren had always dreamed of living in, a large apartment with a beautiful view of the area around it. And is so happened John and Jaren would often point at this room when that sat at Creamy's as they sat in a booth hearing out of the large glass windows. It was still a place he was told to never set foot in again. The voice didn't want him to be recognized even after his long disappearance and the fact that he looked so different since he had last been seen. Along with John's arrival, the in solved murder cases seemed to almost double. And no one was close to finding the axe killer. Not even the active gangs in the area. 

It doesn't help that the apartment that John had rented looked into the shopping center street. Creamy's Cold Treats was one of John's favorite places to stare at. Especially because his violent and controlling voice left him alone in that time. That's when the locks started to slowly unlock from deep inside his mind. So when John wasn't being controlled like a doll he had this long period of time to himself. Yet sometimes he glances at a store a few shops away from his favorite place. It was a flower and book store that has a small cafe inside. The store was every popular yet why John would glance that way was beyond him. Though he never realized it in the first place. 

And throughout his time traveling John developed a morning ritual after getting free. First, he would be told to wake up at six every morning. Then to get dressed and head over to the closest Starbucks. Get coffee and eat breakfast followed by going out to kill for two full hours. After the bloodbath, he would go home after cleaning himself up a bit. He usually ended the day by staring Creamy's until he passes out from exhaustion. And this routine went on for almost two full years until it started to change bit by bit. As something was changing in John, and the voice in his head couldn't stop it. Starting with those random glances. 

He was twenty-two years old now. Still young and a lot of life yet to go through still ahead of him. And bit by bit he started to change for minutes at a time. He became himself. The locks we're all undone and the chains we're loose, his consciousness was able to free itself from time to time. This ended up with John doing things he never really got to do. Like going to get a haircut with getting his hair bleached in the process. He loved it even when he was trapped behind glass as his puppeteer ordered his body onwards. Often times he would've gotten sick to his stomach if he had any control over himself when he was forced to kill in Jaren's name. 

And he hated how hurt he got whenever the voice spoke, as it sounded just like him, the ninth-grader John had fallen in love with so many years ago. The loss was always fresh in his mind and it stung to hear his innocent friend's voice ordering such atrocities. Jaren would've never wanted this, the real John knew that deep down in his heart. That the murder John committed to making them feel like Jaren, was only going to make it much worse. And John was right about that. Yet he didn't have the control he needed, but he did catch himself glancing at that one particular store. The white, red, and blue flowers always caught John's eyes. As the flowers were strewn up along the beams and supports. People sat outside on the roofed patio reading books with coffee cups in their hands. 

And some times he would see a familiar person sweeping outside at the end of the day, yet he could never place who it was just by the bandana and hat they wore all the time. It was called Lost In Time, just like he was. In his small acts of defiance, John often went shopping whether it was for clothes or food. Once he even ended up with a phone. This continued for years up until John was truly himself again. But he did have moments when he lost all of his control. Though he no longer had to steal from his victims to get by, he had gotten a well-paying job. The job payment easily took care of bills and other necessities leaving a hundred or more dollars untouched. So he often rebleached his hair and filled up his empty apartment as he learned how to cope with his loss. Though it might have been years ago John would never fully get over it. Yet he always stole glances at Lost In Time. His saving glances. Without them, he would still be trapped behind the unbreakable glass.