It's one of nights where I want to cry. Except the catch is: I don't know why. I'm just crying about something I don't know about. How stupid is that?! Or maybe it's so many little things building up all at once just to slap me in the face. I probably deserve it though.
I'm not sure why I was compelled to write this. I'm not the type of person to share my emotional feelings publicly, or at all really.
I know no one cares to read this, so maybe that was my encouragement. I just wish life was more simple. But where's the fun in that? Right?
To be honest I feel like people take advantage of crying. Twist it around to make it seem like such a sinful thing. What happened to tears of joy? But then I remembered that that the joy-o meter is running out of its priceless fuel. But there's still some left...and I feel like it's over looked. Plus crying helps to just...let it all out.
I'm so perplexed about peoples minds. how people interpret everything. It's amazing.
So many people have the same moments I do. for some worse. I wish I understood why we are so compelled to have these outbursts of emotions.
People sadly use that as an advantage however. Using our sometimes, gullible emotions for their own gain. In all sorts of ways. Money, power, compassion, love.
We don't deserve the emotions we have sometimes it feels like.
I wish I wasn't so unlikable sometimes. If for some reason right now, your reading this, and you know me personally. Admit it. You have at least, once.. questioned your like-ability towards me. and I've probably done the same to you. Humans fucking suck.
I know I'm not up to standards for some, and that's fine. I'm sorry if you feel that way. Too fat, too lgbt, too talkative, too annoying, not cool enough, too quiet, too mean. I'll never compare to some people's standards and I can't do shit about it. Well, if I changed my entire personality, maybe. But to be honest that's to much work.
I sadly am guilty of the crime. I'm a hypocrite. I don't want to be.
Sometimes even my closest friends seem to high of a standard for me. I wonder if they feel the same vice-virsa?
