2:41 a.m thoughts/False hopes and happiness.

How can you call me cute, and then ghost me? Like I didn't even matter to you. It's like our 1 year anniversary is coming up and we never even started.

We never dated but yet it felt like a breakup! I found a balance of give and take and two days later it was taken away almost instantly. How can you do that and be still apparently "active" on the same app that we met on months later. Bitch, I got the screenshots to prove it. Among those are screenshots of the messages that fill me with so much hope and happiness. Which I still have to consistently remind me to this day of writing about you, who I can't seem to stop thinking about. But, really it was the way you made me feel and the words that was said. Like for once it felt like the start of something right, that I stupidly thought would last. Something that was going to be serious at least for a while. I guess I thought wrong. It never even launched.

All I can say is Xena or if that's even you or your real name, get the fuck out of my head and most importantly my heart. You have been in there for to long and have out stayed your welcome. I cried over you, but I doubt you even shred a tear. I listen to songs about breakups when I was never in one, it just felt like it. I gave you my heart and all you gave me was radio silence for months, for almost one years. I probably won't hear why or what I did wrong even through it was nothing I still care to know why I wasn't good enough for you. But, maybe your the one that isn't good for me. You never were come to think of it. Just a constant reminder of what could have been something great, that I'm still in a search for all the time. I guess I can't blame you for all of it. I jumped in way to deep. Actually I dove in without thinking of the consequences of not knowing how to swim. But for some unknown reason I blame you for most of what I feel. I mean I could blame you for breaking my heart. But, oh wait I can't, well not really.. but I really fucking want to. I just can't seem to do it because at the end of the day into those early 2 am hours I still miss the thought of what could've been.