Demus Oneshots

Soulmate AU

AU where if you write on your body it shows up on your soulmate.

Deceit POV:

And... Another one. I sighed heavily, rolling my eyes and watching my arm as another penis was drawn. I grabbed a pen from my bedside table, writing in the only free space on the arm.
"Loving the drawings. What are you, seven?" I wrote snarkily.
"Yes theyre great shut up butt muncher" The reply came quickly.
I groaned. He always had weird nicknames and things to call me if I asked him go take them off. "If you say so..."  I wrote, getting up from my bed and getting dressed. I had a job interview today, and I had to cover my arm. Great. It didn't help that it was roughly a million degrees outside. I pulled on a yellow long sleeved button up and a black bow-tie. I looked at myself in the mirror, wondering whether I should put concealer over the large birthmark which covered the entire left side of my face. I decided against it. If they didn't hire me with it, then I don't want the position.

I grabbed my black bowler hat on the way out the door, placing it on my head. I checked my watch and saw that I had actually left the house early. I decided to go to the coffee shop down the street and grab a coffee before I went in for the interview.

When I walked in, I immediately noticed the lack of a line, so I stepped up to the counter. The barista there looked up and smiled at me.

"What can I get you?" He asked, and I noticed he had an odd sort of British accent. He also had one of those stereotypical French mustaches, and a strip of dyed silver hair.

"One black coffee, please." I said, smiling slyly because of the reference.

He matched my smirk with one of his own. "Alright, one black coffee for Chip Mulaney, coming right up." He said, turning to make the drink. As he did so, I noticed his arm, not covered by his short-sleeved shirt.

It was covered in penises. Like mine. It also had my neat handwriting, right on the bicep.
He was the one who'd been tormenting me with the penis drawings. He was the reason I had to wear long sleeves today, when it was really far too hot to do so sensibly.
"By the way, as your soulmate, I find it incredibly annoying when you draw those on your arm." I said smoothly.
He whirled around. "What was that?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and pulled up my sleeve, revealing all that was on it.
He blinked, then began cackling.
"HAHAHA- I'm sorry, it's just- PFFTHAHAHA!" He wheezed, doubled over in laughter. I bit my lip to refrain from laughing, myself. I couldn't help it, his laughter was infectious. 

When he finally calmed down, he walked from behind the counter. "So we're soulmates, huh?" e said, wiggling his shoulders and eyebrows.
I nodded. "It would appear so." I said, raising an eyebrow at his wiggling. What was he on?
He smiled widely, and I noticed that his grin was rather lop-sided. It was kind of... Cute, I supposed.

We began talking, and I learned a lot about him. I talked about my love for history, and he began to talk about his love for true crime stories. We talked for hours, and I realized I'd missed my job interview.

Oh well. I didn't want the job anyway.