𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

the morning after

*TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE*

Jorge's POV:

I slowly blink the sleep out of my eyes.

Where am I?

I whip my head to the sides, trying to take in my surroundings. But I have to rest it again, my head is pounding.

Memories of last night start to trickle in. The party. The game of truth or dare. Benji... Running away? I know something happened but I-

The kiss.

So many feelings hit me at once as I remember lying on the bed underneath Benji. And now Addy...

I groan, pressing on my forehead. I had way too much to drink. And I'm still not able to recognize who's bedroom I'm in. This definitely is not Caleb's house.

That's when a familiar face swings open the door.

Syd!!

"Oh, good, you're up. I brought you some stuff." He says, handing me a glass of water and a tylenol as I sit up.

"How did I get here?" I ask, after swallowing the pill with water.

"I was running late to the party, and I found you passed out on the couch. Caleb Finn and Antonio Garza tried to explain what happened, but they were both a little drunk, too. All I really know is that something happened between you and Benji. I told them I'd take your wasted ass back to my place." Syd explains.

My cheeks redden with embarrassment. "I'm sorry you had to do this for me." I say, sheepishly.

"It's okay. There will be more Friday nights. Now, explain what happened with Benji." Syd insists.

Oh, god.

"I- I couldn't find you- and the party was loud" I stutter, "and Benji found me while I was having a panic attack. So he took me up to the guest roo-"

"You guys fucked?" Syd asks, wide eyed.

I roll my eyes. "He held me and helped me calm down. Things got a little out of hand-"

"And then you fucked." He interrupts.

"And then we kissed." I correct him, "That's it. That's all that we did."

"You've got to be lying to me Jorge." Syd laughs. "You got a room alone with hot boy Benji Krol, and you only kissed him?"

"Yes." I reply indignantly, my face flushed. "He has a girlfriend. Well, had."

"Wait... What?" Syd asks.

"We played truth or dare, and Cayman apparently overheard me and Benji in the guest room. He made Benji say what went down while we were alone up there, but he didn't get to explain fully. Cayman made it sound like we had sex, so then Addy freaked out. The last thing I remember is Benji storming out of the house." I try to relay everything that happened, but i'm struggling to remember, myself.

"That's crazy, Jorge. I'm so sorry." Syd hugs me.

My heart aches.

"I just wish Benji wasn't so embarrassed to love me." My voice wavered. I feel so empty that I can't even cry. I have no feelings left.

Syd looked at me, his eyes softening. "I don't think it's you he's embarrassed of. He's probably just scared of what everyone will think of him-"

"Exactly." I interrupt. "Embarrassed."

"Let me finish, Jorge. He's scared of what everyone will think of him, because he's not ready to be out yet. This is a terrible way for it to happen, and he's afraid. He's going to need time to figure himself out."

"You're right." I admit, hanging my head.

We sit in silence for a while.

"Do you feel bad about kissing him while he was with Addy?" Syd asked.

"Yeah. But I stopped him from making it more than a kiss, which is what he wanted. So we're both to blame." I conclude.

Syd nods. "Benji's friends might try to make you look like the bad guy."

I hadn't thought about that.

I pick up my phone for the first time this morning. I'm surprised to see 5 voicemails from an unknown number. My eyebrows furrowed, I show Syd.

"Play them." He says, looking back at me.

I turn my volume up and press the play icon on the oldest one. 1:07 am. A couple minutes after he left the party.

"Jorge, this is Benji. Call back."

1:30 am.

"Jorge- I'm sorry I left you. Call me."

2:11 am.

"I live you. I'm sorryy."

"His voice is all slurred." Syd comments. I nod.

2:20 am.

"Please. Call me."

Even through the crackling voicemail, you can hear the break in his voice as he cries.

3:01 am.

"I m-might kill myself. I n-need you. Jus- Just call me back. Call me back."

His drunk words make my heart drop into my stomach. I check the clock. 10:18 am. It's been hours.

Quickly I try to call him back. The tone rings for eternity before I hear his voice. For a moment I really think it's him.

"This is Benji, sorry I missed your call. Leave a message!" The automatic response says in his sweet, deep voice.

I'm paralyzed in fear.

"I- I need to go find him. But I don't know his address-" I panic, tears filling my eyes.

"I have it from a party last year." Syd says, starting to text me the location.

"Shit, my car's at Caleb's!" I realize.

"Caleb drove it back here this morning. He couldn't have it by his driveway because his parents were coming home soon."

"Thank you!" I yell.

Panic grants me wings for feet as I fly down the stairs and out the door. Rushing into my car, I put the key in and speed off. I'm too hungover to be driving, and the sunlight is killing me. But I'm terrified for Benji.

He called me 5 times.

He could be dead, and it's my fault. My fault for letting him into my life. My fault for kissing him. My fault for getting too drunk to receive his calls. My fault, my fault, my fault.

We fell for each other at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in the wrong situation.

And now Benji might pay the price for it.