Batfam Bonanza

Chapter 4: Cass

"Bruce?" Hal asked early one morning, pulling the covers off of the other man's face so that the light would shine on him. Hal was well aware that that was the only way to get him to wake up long enough to listen.

Bruce grunted and rolled over, giving off the air of someone who was entirely willing to push their boyfriend off the bed if he persisted in making noise before noon.

Hal was not someone who would be easily put off by something like that though. "Do you think that I should buy Cass something for her birthday? I've never had a stepdad get me a present, but is it like... a thing that they generally do?"

Bruce made a valiant effort to open his eyes and have a mature conversation with Hal. He muttered: "Not her stepfather yet," or something to that effect, and went right back to sleep.

The Lantern sighed, he should have known better than to ask something about this, this was really the kind of thing that he should have asked John about.

John, for his part, had not particularly enjoyed being woken up at three in the morning for a question like that, but in the end, he had agreed with Hal's assessment that he should be doing things with Bruce's family if he really expected this relationship to go anywhere. Then John had paused. "Although-" he started, but thought better about whatever he was about to say.

When his partner didn't continue, Hal seized the opportunity to ask about his next most significant problem. "But since it's Cass, what do you think I should get her?"

John outright groaned at that. "I don't spend that much time around Bruce and his kids, Hotshot, you're going to have to figure that one out for yourself. Or you could ask Bruce."

"I think he might have locked the bedroom door the moment I left."

Even a day later, Hal was still having a ton of difficulty figuring out what he should get. His first thought had been to get her a book, one like The Little Prince, but Dick had shaken his head rapidly when he asked him about the idea.

Jason clapped him on the back in sympathy and asked him why he didn't just get something easy, like a scented candle or a plushie, since this was his first year trying to get them presents.

The pilot thought about it. "I guess some candles have pretty cool names, like... this one time I saw one called Dragon's Blood and who knows what's in that, but it sounds pretty metal."

Jason looked like he wanted to bang his head against the wall. "It's the resin from a fucking tree, Hal, how can you not know that?"

Bruce had looked up at him, horrified when he asked if roman candles were what it was called when you dipped a person in wax and if so, why he could buy two dozen of them on Amazon for only 5 dollars. The vigilante had steepled his fingers when Hal told him that he was still working on his birthday present plan.

"I'll buy the present for you if you want," Bruce offered, not even looking up from his computer, "because while I already know that you're not going to drop this, I also know that you have no idea how to buy someone a present that they'll actually like."

Hal coughed. He couldn't believe that Bruce had such little faith in him. "I do so know how to give gifts!"

"For the past three Christmases, you have given me Green Lantern boxers, I don't even have time to list all of the reasons that that's not a good idea."

"But aren't I your favorite superhero?"

"Hal," Bruce said as kindly as possible, given the size of the bombshell he was about to drop, "you aren't even my favorite Green Lantern."

Hal had ended up sulking about that for the rest of the day, only coming out of his funk for the five seconds that it had taken for him to lean into Bruce's study and ask: "But was I your favorite Spectre though?" (Bruce had thrown a cushion at him), he hadn't gotten anything done, and both John and Carol were likely to chase him down for his missing paperwork. Worst of all, he still didn't have any good ideas.

Damian had been the one who had solved his problem. He had come in on Hal's third day of planning (he had just remembered the time he'd spent all of the money he was supposed to spend on decorations on a drone, Jim's kids had loved that) and put an empty jar down on the table with a thunk.

"You should make her a glitter jar." Damian had said shortly, neglecting to tell Hal exactly what a glitter jar was.

"A glitter jar?" Hal repeated as if repeating it would make things clearer.

"She gets anxious easily, the jar will help calm her down. It was my original idea, but she requested that I paint for her instead." The boy paused. "I will stay to instruct you, I doubt that Pennyworth would appreciate you getting glitter all over the kitchen."