Spider-Man Oneshots

High School Part One

"This is my mom and dad, Natasha and Clint Barton-Romanoff. Harley's dads, Steve and Tony Rogers-Stark. And Iris's dads, Bruce and Thor Banner. I'm Cooper Barton-Rogers, your resident aro ace. Iris Banner, our completely-secure-with-her-sexuality lesbian. And Harley Keener-Rogers-Stark, who is currently having a gay panic at that boy right there." He dramatically pointed at the robot boy.

The coding boy looked up from where he and Bruce had bent over the computer filled with code. "Hey! I'm an aro ace too! Cool! MJ over there is a homoromantic demisexual, Peter is a bisexual disaster who is gaping at your friend because they are apparently both attracted to each other, and Bronya is, well... a dog."

May smiled knowingly when she heard the name of the dog. "ты знаешь русский, малыш?" (You know Russian, little one?)

The boy, Peter, smiled. "да.  Броня значит доспехи, а она моя защита." (Yes. Bronya means armor, and she is my protection.)

"Замечательно." (Wonderful.)

"Me and Ned have been working on giving Karen a body," Peter explained. "Karen is AI I made last year. It took like, two hours, right Ned?"

Ned nodded in confirmation.

Tony almost snorted. JARVIS, his first AI, has taken him a full three months of all-nighters in the lab - a very high tech lab.

Ned dramatically tapped the enter key and the robot opened its prosthetic green eyes. Tony expected a robotic voice, like Siri, that only knew a few things. Instead, the robot stood up, wobbled a few steps, then walked calmly over to MJ.

A motherly voice with an almost British lilt sounded from the robot. "First-class lesbian, Boss has a three broken ribs, along with an older stab wound and a half-healed broken arm. His arm is setting itself in an incorrect direction."

MJ glared at Peter, then growled, "Karen, how old is the stab wound and broken arm?"

"From last night."

"How old are the ribs?"

"From just before lunch break."

"Peter!" Ned exclaimed. "Flash is breaking your ribs now? You have to go to a teacher! You cannot keep dealing with this Peter!" His voice got louder and louder as he spoke.

Peter sat down and grabbed the grounding handle on his service dog's vest. "Ned," his voice was soft, like a scared animal. "It's fine."

Bronya softly nipped Peter's fingertips to try to calm him.

"Все хорошо, малыш.  Мы уйдем, займем столько времени, сколько вам нужно." (It's okay, little one. We will leave, take all the time you need.) Nat whispered softly to the boy, then ushered everyone out.

Tony could see Harley was worried for the small boy in the room. Everyone had immediately taken a liking to him, even though he'd only said a few English words since they'd met him.

As soon as the door closed, MJ turned to Ned and began chewing him out.

"Ned! You know you're not supposed to get mad about these things! I hate Flash as much as the next person, but Peter has anxiety. You have to let him do his thing. I'm going to go in there. Natasha, you're coming. Harley, you too. We're gonna patch Peter up. Dr. Banner, you come, too, please. Ned, stay out here and think about what you've done."

Harley stepped forward with the others. They all quietly entered the room. MJ stopped to direct everyone else before gong to Peter's side.

In a hurried whisper, she explained. "Dr. Banner, please go to that cabinet over there and open the secret panel on the back wall. There should be a better stocked first aid kit back there. Bring it to one of the chairs. Natasha, I want you to get my phone and hook it up to the speakers. Trust me. Harley, come with me."

Everyone went where they were directed. Harley and MJ slowly approached Peter. He was covering his ears, his eyes shut tight. As quiet as a mouse, MJ whispered, "Peter?"

He looked up at the two. Bronya was already at his side, gently licking him all over. He had a strong grip on the grounding handle. MJ and Harley came to sit on his other side.

"MJ? Harley?" Peter's voice came in a choked, broken whisper. He let himself get in a whimper, then. "It hurts, MJ. Harley, it's really loud."

"I know, I know, hun, let it out." MJ had definitely been in this situation before, Harley decided.

Peter looked up at the two of them. He smiled. MJ places a hand softly on Peter's shoulder, making sure he didn't since away from the touch and he knew it was coming. Peter gently reached out and took Harley's hand. Harley smiled.

"We're ready," Bruce softly called out from the other side of the room.

MJ went to where her phone was hooked up to the speaker, and started some very soft music. Harley recognized the tune to The Village by Wrabel. Peter began singing along, just as soft as the music. His voice was beautiful. Harley couldn't keep the smile off his face. Peter sat down in the chair and closed his eyes.

"Where did you say the injuries were, Karen?"

Karen mimicked MJ's soft tone. "Three broken ribs," at this point a hologram came out of the small robot, from its extra eye, and showed the correct ribs that were broken. "His stab wound is on the right side, just below his collar bone. His left arm is broken."

MJ decided on divide and conquer. She let Peter decide who did what. Bruce was assigned to (as painlessly as possible) re-break his arm and get it set in the right direction, MJ was tending to the stab wound that was closing but needed stitches to get it to close all the way, Nat was icing his ribs, and Harley was chosen for 'emotional support.' Essentially, that meant sitting up by Peter's head, running his fingers through Peter's hair, and whispering to him that everything would be alright. Peter relaxed under Harley's touch.

He let out many whimpers and whines of pain, but they patched him up nicely and now he felt better, he admitted. Everyone else came back in, and Ned apologized.

"Now." Tony turned serious. "Who's this Flash who's breaking your ribs?"

Peter blushed and sighed. "No-"

"And if you say no one, I'll just hack the security cameras and find out everything he's done to you."

Peter looked at his feet, and MJ piped up. "He's Peter's bully."

Peter gasped, flaring a hand over his own chest. "Betrayal!"

Harley growled. He actually growled. "Peter. You're getting bullied?"

Peter placed a hand on Harley's chest to calm him. At this, everyone realized that they were totally together. If not already, would be soon.

"Harley." Peter's voice became reassuring. "It's fine, really. I can handle it. I'm fine, Harls."

"Harls?" Harley questioned with a laugh.

Peter blushed again. "I mean, yeah... unless you don't like it, then of course I can stop. I just-"

"I like it." Harley smiled at him.

And everyone immediately shipped them, because they were beautiful together. Even Tony and Steve did.

And then a short boy walked in and exclaimed something that immediately put Harley on edge.

"What the fuck are you doing with a ton of Avengers, Penis?!"