It's easy when I smile and pretend.
When I put on the whole damn show.
Hang on your arm and smile and laugh.
Hang on your arm like your my big strong man.
Stand by your side do the talking, so you don't put fuel on the fire.
Convince my friends that you are Mr. Right, even when I can't convince myself.
Oh, it's so easy when I put on that facade.
The perfect face.
They call us a power couple.
My friends all envy the way we are when we embrace.
But it's not so easy when we talk.
When it's raw and my walls come down.
When my demons take the mike at the town hall meeting in my mind.
When my trust issues lash out like claws.
Lacerating the images that paint our perfect facade.
All those pretty tapestries we hung to cover the big gaping flaws.
All the holes in the walls.
Cause Mona Lisa doesn't look so pretty with her face ripped off.
And I know Picasso was abstract but even he might say our pictures all wrong.
No, when everything comes tumbling down it ain't one of Van Goh's cute little rooms.
It's like I'm writing a tragedy novel, but with writer's block and existential dread soup.
And it's hard because a part of me really loves you, but the other half feels like a fraud when I say those three words back to you.
And how can I say that to your face?
How can I sit back and watch your heartbreak?
Call myself out on every time I was a fake.
Shatter your confidence, burn it right at the steak.
How can I do that, it sounds like such a mistake.
Cause it's never easy when we talk.
No no, it's never easy when we talk.
Always feel like everything is on the rocks, and one wrong step and I'll just fall apart.
When we talk. It's never easy. It's never easy.
It's never easy when we talk.
And you beg me just to be honest.
You beg me to speak my thoughts.
You tell that I'll feel better when I just learn to open up.
But every time I tell you things I take my mental weight and put it on you.
You say that you'll carry my yolk, but your own is already too heavy for you.
But it's easy when I smile and pretend.
Put on the whole damn show, and ignore all our emotional baggage.
Watch the fireworks soar every time I run my fingers through your hair.
Play the part of happy and content.
Hang on your arm like your my big strong man.
Ignore that fact that you are emotionally scarred and many days just a shell of a human.
Give you kisses and let you call me your misses.
Nevermind everything hidden behind our elaborate tapestries.
Peer through our stained glass windows and pretend that the obscure images of our future I see are actually promising.
I do all the talking.
Explain your past mistakes away to my friends because I'm afraid of what you'll say to them if I don't.
Lie and bullshit till I'm worn thin.
Say you and me are great even when the ice we walk on is thinner than smoke.
But it's not a joke. This is my real life now.
And it's fine when I paint up the facade and string things along.
But it's never easy when we talk.
No, it's not so easy when we talk.
When it's raw and my walls come down.
When my demons take the mike at the town hall meeting in my mind.
When my trust issues lash out like claws.
Lacerating the images that paint our perfect facade.
All those pretty tapestries we hung to cover the big gaping flaws.
All the holes in the walls.
Cause Mona Lisa doesn't look so pretty with her face ripped off.
And I know Picasso was abstract but even he might say our pictures all wrong.
No, when everything comes tumbling down it ain't one of Van Goh's cute little rooms.
It's like I'm writing a tragedy novel, but with writer's block and existential dread soup.
And it's hard because a part of me really loves you, but the other half feels like a fraud when I say those three words back to you.
And how can I say that to your face?
How can I sit back and watch your heartbreak?
Call myself out on every time I was a fake.
Shatter your confidence, burn it right at the steak.
How can I do that, it sounds like such a mistake.
Cause it's never easy when we talk.
No no, it's never easy when we talk.
Always feel like everything is on the rocks, and one wrong step and I'll just fall apart.
When we talk. It's never easy. It's never easy.
It's never easy when we talk.
YOU ARE READING
The Words I Should Have Told You Sooner (But I was too Afraid to Say)
PoetryA collection of poems and songs about my first relationship, and everything that ultimately led to its end. All relationships have ups and downs, this is just my way of telling mine's story the only way I really know how to.
