Essence of Us

Chapter 2: Real Love

I had a constant ache in my stomach, right next to the baby as I tried to focus on what I did have - a gorgeous, fine fiancé, loving sister and mother, a healthy pregnancy, and a bright career. No matter how I soothed myself with those thoughts, the fight with Zena loomed. She had been my best friend forever and we used to see each other every day as children, and several times a week as adults until she moved to L.A. Up until we fought, we spoke on the phone at least once a week. Zena was fam and now she didn't want to even go to Jamaica with us. Montana still wanted to go even though Tarik told him that he and Zena had opted to take that vacation later. He said that the first time ended so badly for us that he wanted a do-over for my birthday. I argued we have a lifetime of travel and I had so much on my plate with submitting paperwork for graduation though the ceremony wouldn't be until December, Deja's travel to Atlanta in two days, and his busy schedule. Montana insisted that we should still go and just love on each other for my birthday. Besides, he argued, he wouldn't be able to travel with me when the season began in early fall.

My cell rang as I sat at the desk we added to Montana's room. I had to do some corrections to briefs I prepared and once I finished, I would be officially done with law school and time to begin studying for the bar. I leaned back when I saw Carrie's number. We hadn't spoken much lately. She'd called to congratulate me, but she had been too busy taking care of her baby and finalizing her divorce for the type of idle chatter we used to have.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Z not speaking?" Carrie accused.

"It's only been a few days and you know me and mama traveling with Deja to Atlanta this weekend. She asked me to go with her at the last minute after bragging, she didn't like goodbyes and she and mama could handle it on her own."

"So? You would have called me the minute you got off the phone. Are you still angry with me?"

"No...it's just different and honestly I think we've both been too busy to just chill."

Carrie sighed loudly. "Yeah, you're still mad. Zena told me you didn't want me to be in your wedding and that's why you and she got into it."

"Is that the only reason she told you?"

She said sharply, "Yes. And at least she still has my back."

I rubbed my belly, a new habit that I now had whenever I became tense. "It's not like that. I do have your back and care about you. Montana still has some sort of feeling toward you after what happened at Z's wedding and then after Everette did what he did. I actually think if we get married sometime next year, he'll feel better about you and you could be in the wedding."

"Wow. Zena's right, you really taking his side about this?"

"You know what? My head already hurts because of Zena, who really is only mad because Cali is in the wedding. Did she tell you that's what made her angry? She wasn't really defending you. She told me that since Montana didn't want you in the wedding then I need to get rid of Cali because she would be uncomfortable. And she didn't understand why her comfort wasn't as important as Montana's."

"What? Did she really say that? But he's going to be your husband," she surprisingly responded. "Okay, she tripping."

"Thank you." The tight bands around my head loosened. "Carrie, you know I love you. I just didn't want to cause confusion. My future husband has a temper and is jealous of Everette."

"Montana doesn't need to be. I confronted Everette about his behavior and he admitted that he was only trying to get at Montana. He swore that he doesn't have feelings for you. He said that he just missed the family and you're always nice to him. He told me to apologize for him because he was too embarrassed to see you again. And I guess I was jealous that he kissed you and he barely wanted to touch me."