fight for control ↠ harry styles [b1] ✓

CHAPTER 90

He shook his head, disappointed in me and my decision. It was annoying that I had to go against him but at the same time I hated being wronged.

"Renleigh," he started off easy and soft. He used my full name, no petnames or anything, so this was going to come from deep within. "I see why you want to go to work—someone told you that you can't so you want to do it that much more. But the reason why you are told not to go to work is for your own good," he said calmly as he walked closer to the kitchen island and leaned on it with his elbows. He explained things with his hands and all then when he finished, he intertwined his fingers.

"I see why you could be worried and why I shouldn't go in but to reiterate—if I don't go in, I'm going to lose my mind," I said.

"Okay. You go in. I get a call, let's say, an hour from now, saying you were taken into the hospital again or that you fainted again," he stood back up again, his hands in the air and apart. "What am I going to do then?" he slapped them down on the surface with an angry expression. His eyebrows pulled together and his lips pressed into a firm line. "Hm? Because the first thing I will ask is if you are alive or not. That is how serious this situation is. Do you understand that?"

I sighed frustratedly and shook my head. We were never going to see eye to eye on this and unless one of us gave in, we were going to stand there all day.

"Harry. This has happened to me before..."

"What has happened to you before?" he pressed. "That you fainted? That you were hospitalised because you're ruining your health? That you couldn't move when you woke up in the morning? Or is it the emotional breakdowns that happen a lot more than they should? Which one is it, Kensington?"

"If you are going to just attack me with all of this, I don't want to talk to you," I stated.

"So, I'm finally getting to you, then?" he questioned. "Do I have to throw a few personal questions in there for you to break and see that the things you are doing to yourself are killing you? You know I can punch where it hurts the most, I have before and I'm not scared of doing it again if it puts you in the right mindset."

"Do that and I'm breaking up with you," I threatened and I was serious. "You throw the shit I told you about back in my face and I'm done with you. I'm not kidding, either. I'm tired of feeling like I'm talking to a fan when I share things with you. There are many ways to get me to see your point but thinking that you have the right to bring my past into it, is definitely not one."

"You and I both know you will never see my point. Hell, you fail to listen to a professional's advice so I don't know why I'm standing here, running my mouth when it's clearly for nothing, right?" fuck. This was not what I needed early in the morning. Not after four months of being away from him. "You love to throw my feelings to the side when for once in a lifetime you are wrong about something and you shouldn't do what you want to. Nothing I say sticks in your head because you simply don't give a fuck about it and that hurts as much as you hurting yourself does. Of course, you wouldn't know that—you are too busy caring about yourself because who is more important than you? Then again, if that was the case, you definitely wouldn't be in the situation that you are. I mean, you are twenty-nine and the doctor said your body may as well be double its age. You are ruining yourself and you may think that's OK but I don't think the same."

"Professionals all say the same thing yet I'm still here," I argued back although even I knew my point was weak. He got me but I never not win. So, giving in, was not in any of my upcoming cards.

"Yeah, and for how long?" he asked. He shook his head and said, "I never thought I would have to say this but you are being fucking stupid," he laughed in disbelief. "You think I don't know what you are doing? Oh, sweetheart, I know you like the back of my fucking hand—you know I'm winning this argument and you have no way of recovering from this. Claiming that all professionals say... what exactly? That you burned out? No. That's not what they are saying—they are saying you are on the way there. Well, they have before you got hooked up to an IV yesterday because you didn't have enough of what your body needs. Going to work today is going to put even more pressure on you, give you even more stress and put you in a mindset that is impossible to get out of because I know how you get when you are at work."