Chasing What's Lost | Cheater!Todoroki x Reader | Quirkless/Modern AU

II

Y/N's POV

I forced my eyes open as the morning sun glared at me through the window of our bedroom. Shifting my body to face the other side of the bed, a part of me hoped that he'd be there, but the larger, more logical, side of me knew he wouldn't. I stared at the empty space, running my hand over it, only to feel the coldness left by his absence. I pushed myself upwards, letting my body leave the tear-stained sheets as I got out of the bed. Seeing as today was one of my rare days off, I knew it would be best to simply relax and give my body the break it needed, but that wasn't what I did. Instead, I fixed the bed then got to work cleaning the house. It was 11:24 in the morning and I had no idea when or if Shouto would come home any time soon. I keep telling myself that maybe if I continue to pretend nothing is wrong, everything will be right. In the end, I can't help but wonder if it's because I'm not good enough. I continued to give myself excuses, for example the one I was using right now.

If the house is nice, Shouto would want to come home more often, right?

Eventually, my life became built upon these beautiful lies. The stunning flowers I used to hide the growing weeds brought color into my life despite their temporary presence. I had never been too good at caring for plants. In fact, most plant would wilt within the one week of me having them. However, if I continued to get more flowers before the previous set wilted, I'd always have color in my life. I would close each gap of sadness with yet another stunning lie.

I sighed as I returned the broom and other cleaning supplies to our hallway closet.

If I was prettier, Shouto would want to see me more often, right?
If I had a nicer voice, Shouto would want to talk to me more often, right?
If I was happier, Shouto would want to spend more time with me, right?

When did my thoughts become so detrimental to my own state of mind? When did I start pushing the blame on myself?

When did I start truly believing that I wasn't enough?
That there was something wrong with me.
That if I changed, he'd stop.
That if I made myself better than her, he'd stay with me.
That if I pretended that I was alright, everything would somehow become alright.
That if continued to love and put him before me, he'd love and put me before him.

My eyes widened as I heard the doorbell ring. For a second, I let my hopes get the best of me and thought it would be him. I rushed towards the door, fixing my hair as I went. Swinging it open, I was greeted by a tall woman with long black hair that was organized into a spiky ponytail. She blinked at me for a second, almost as if in shock.

"I'm sorry. I was looking for the residence of Todoroki Shouto." she said in a kind voice. "I may have gotten my boyfriend's address mixed up with yours." Her words cut through me and made me want to cry, but I didn't. I returned a smile then spoke.
"You're at the right place, although I don't know when he'll return. You can come in if you'd like." I said, opening the door a bit wider for her, but she shook her head.
"No thanks." she said. "He's probably at work right now. I'll just visit him at his company. Anyways, I'll be heading off now." she said before turning around and making her way towards her car which was parked on the street.

I shut the door as hot tears ran down my face. Holding in my sobs, I made my way up the stairs and towards our bed. Collapsing on it, I wept. All that could be heard throughout the house were my sobs muffled by my pillow as I suffered through the aching feeling in my heart.