Loneliness (Musings and Mistresses #1) ✓

Chapter 18

And, now, fixing things might even be harder.

Now, Leiann is hanging out for breakfast with her friends but would rather spend her time on her own. She doesn't want to face them for the Daejeong matter and is also ashamed to tell them the truth.

Melody: What's the problem? Since we left the Skate Park, you haven't talked to us at all. Is it because of D-

Leiann: (snaps) Yes! It is! I messed up and I need to fix things.

Melody: But how? You know, she isn't the most forgiving person.

Leiann: I know!

Lisa: So, what do you want to do? Do you want to talk to her?

Leiann: I-

Ashlyn: Come on, Leiann, do you still worry about that deadbeat Korean bitch? I mean, she played you, big time, just for her personal interest. She kept you as a friend just to keep you at bay!

Melody: Ashlyn, that's not quite a correct assumption, don't you think? Why don't we just let Leiann talk?

Ashlyn: Because everyone knows who Lee Daejeong is!

Leiann: (yells at Ashlyn) No, you don't know her, clearly! And, unlike you, I actually have some remorse for treating her like scum! She might have done such bad things to deserve a lesson, but, come on, I've dealt with far worse people in my life!

Ashlyn: Okay, here comes the "Protect Daejeong" campaign again.

Lisa: Save your sarcasm, Ashlyn. Leiann is right. If she believes that apologizing is the right thing, then let her be!

Ashlyn: I'm fucking serious, girls. Listen carefully, Leiann. Daejeong has already crushed you and will crush you once again. Trust me, she played you and is going to play you again. So, stop worrying about that bitch and don't let yourself be her toy anymore, okay?

???: Leiann is not my plaything, okay?

The girls turn, only to see a furious Daejeong standing by, her fists clenched and a deadly glare plastered on her face.

Daejeong: Leiann, I messed up, big time. I don't expect you to accept my apology, but, at least, listen to me, please-

Ashlyn: (stands up) Save it, Daejeong. Leiann doesn't want to have to do with you anymore.

Melody: Sit down, Ashlyn!

Ashlyn: This bitch is messing with the wrong people, right, girls?

Leiann: If she says that I should listen to her, why shouldn't I pay attention to what she has to say?

Ashlyn: Because this is another of her games, Leiann. She doesn't care about you at all. She-

Daejeong: (shrieks) Shut the fuck up, Ashlyn, and let me talk for once!

Lisa: She's right, Ashlyn.

Leiann: (to Daejeong) Can we talk? In private, of course.

Daejeong: Yes, please. I don't need Ashlyn going psycho on me again.

The two girls leave the café and the rest of the group behind, especially a shouting Ashlyn.

Daejeong: Last time it was all on you. It's not fair that she forces you to pay once again. Leave her be.

Leiann: Last night you dragged Nayeon away. Why?

Daejeong: I was done.

Leiann: Excuse me?

Daejeong: I was done with everyone being so blind when it comes to judgement. And, no, I'm not trying to weasel out of my responsibilities.

Leiann: So?

Daejeong: I did a lot of bad things. But I also tried to fix them. You caught me late at rehearsals multiple times. You found me drunk on the couch at 4am, and yet I had to bear with you nagging at me. Deep down, I knew you cared a lot about me. Even when it was over, I still wanted things to work. (Cries) I might be a bad person, but this doesn't mean that I don't want to change. Please, Leiann, even if you won't forgive me for all the mistakes I made in the past, at least forgive me for what I said last night.

Leiann: That hurt, you know?

Daejeong: It did. I felt as if a part of me was dying. Maybe we're just not meant to be, after all. Ashlyn did the right thing. I haven't been serious, and these are the consequences.

Leiann: This doesn't justify her poor behavior with you!

Daejeong: Stop defending me, Leiann. I deserved it. If I had made the effort to actually change, I-

Leiann: (slaps Daejeong's face) Can you stop putting yourself down for once?

Daejeong: (lowers her head) I... I... (Cries)

Leiann: The fault is mine, Daejeong. I was an awful friend and an even worse girlfriend. I preferred listening to Ashlyn rather than reasoning myself. I should've had the courage to tell you the truth in its entirety.

Daejeong: What do you mean?

Leiann: When we broke up, I thought you were head over heels for someone else. And now, I feel this way.

Daejeong: So?

Leiann: I kept you from loving yourself, and, as a result, I stopped loving myself.

Daejeong: Stop it!

Leiann: Let's forget it all, shall we? Let's learn to love ourselves again. (She and Daejeong shake hands) Deal?

Daejeong: Deal.