Accidentally on Purpose

Chapter Fifty-Three

It was Bey who finally realized that something, or rather someone, was missing.

"Where's Jonah?" she asked, before throwing me a sly glance. "You two are usually attached to the hip."

I forced a laugh. "Yeah," I said, not offering anything more.

Then she proceeded to talk for a while about how much of a great couple he and I were, and I was trying not to let her know how I was feeling like my heart was being torn apart little by little, but she eventually found another topic to talk about, and I sighed in relief.

I continued eating in silence, my mind drifting in and out of the conversation my friends were trying to pull me into.

And then I felt it again—the feeling as if a spotlight was being pointed at me. I fought myself not to turn around, but slowly, I felt my head slowly turning, and over my shoulder I saw a boy sitting by himself in the corner of the room, his earphones attached into each one of his ears, but he didn't even look like he was listening to the song at all.

This was the boy I'd been in love with for the past four years. And right now, this was the boy who made me feel everything and nothing at all.

[]

"So, I guess that's it," I told Gina, shrugging both of my shoulders a little bit. "And no, I never thought about running away for good. It just... it just happened. I was going to come back if I didn't find him anyway. Everyone was just being so dramatic about it."

My best friend looked like she was at a loss of words. I'd promised her earlier that I would tell her everything that had happened during the weekend. And here I was, sitting at an ice cream shop telling her everything.

But I lied to her. I wasn't telling her everything.

Not about Jonah's involvement in what happened four years ago.

I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Hell, just thinking about it made my whole head spin, how was I supposed to find the right words to tell her?

"So now he's actually here—like, here, here? Back in town? Out of his hiding place?" Gina asked. "Oh my god. And all you had to do was break that goddamn picture frame, Hannah, he did tell you where he was going after all."

I groaned, feeling stupid now that I thought about it. I could've gone years ago if only I had known that he'd actually let that message to me. I could've avoided all the trouble and arguments with my parents over meeting him. "How was I supposed to know that? He could've simply left a piece of paper under my pillow, not inside a dusty photo frame."

She shook her head, still in shock about the news, but she was smiling at me. "How is he? Has he changed at all?"

"Yes and no. I don't know. It's still the same him, yet at the same time I know he must've changed. I mean, four years is a long time," I paused. "But I'm happy that he's here. I really, really am happy."

"Me too," she said with a smile. "Is he staying for good?"

I shrugged. "Probably not. He already has his own life. He's living with his girlfriend, imagine that. But now I know I can talk to him whenever I want."

"And you're parents are okay with this?" Gina's eyebrows knitted slightly. "I mean, they were always the ones who literally banned you from saying his name out loud. Isn't it weird that now suddenly they allow him in with open arms?"

"Technically, they never kicked Tony out," I told her. "He was the one who left willingly. He told our parents that he didn't want me asking about him. Something like that." I took a spoonful of my strawberry cheesecake ice cream.