Lost without you

The last Goodbye

TAMZIN'S  P.O.V

So I guess your kinda wondering who tf I am lol. My names Tamzin, Tammi for short and I'm from London, well I was born in South Africa because my mum was on Holiday there and her flight was delayed for a couple of days and in which time I was born so yeah. But after a couple of months I moved back to London so I always just say I'm from here. But anyway, I'm 17 and I'm 5.4 so kinda short but, not really short. I'm tanned because according to my mum my dad was Italian or Spanish. She can't really remember for certain. I was a surprise to her so I've never had a dad. But that's where the tan, dark hair and the green eyes comes from. Anyways that's irrelevant, as I was saying, I've got long brown hair but it's got golden highlights. Makes me sound like a surfer girl when I say it's wavey. Basically fit right in already. Oh I forgot to say. I'm moving To California. Tomorrow.

????: Tammi!

"Coming mum" I call back from the landing, it's so annoying when I'm right in the middle of something and she disturbs me.

Mum: I don't want to tell you again, go and get my meds from the pharmacy. I've called and they're waiting. And for gods sake get off your phone you'll have plenty of time for that on the plane.

"Fine. I'm going" I miserably put on my boots and scarf as I don't plan on going straight home after. There are a few bits I've got to smooth over before I lose the chance. Ugh the doors still locked.

"Mum, have you got your keys mine are upstairs and my shoes are on"

Mum: "yeah I do hun they're in my bag hanging up"
...
It's strange that I'm never gonna walk this street to the little shops at the end of our street again, this is the last time I'm gonna walk past my favourite person in the entire worlds house, or at least the last time for a long while.

???: "Tamzinnnnnnnnnnn"

Shocked I call back "Oh my god Millie I thought you had left for Paris already." Awwwww I'm so exited she's still here.

Millie: "Do you seriously think I could ever leave without saying goodbye to you?" She laughs as she hops out her downstairs bedroom window, my mum would kill me if I did that.

"No" I confess, feeling stupid that I even considered that.

I can tell Millie is trying to stay smiley, she's good at that. But I'm her best friend, have been for 16 years she can't fool me. She looks away knowing as well as me that this is it. The last goodbye.

"Millie I..."

Before I can even think of how to put what I'm feeling into words, a goodbye to somethings that's blossomed for so long, I don't need to. She's wrapped her arms around me the way she always does, smothering me in a bear hug only, usually I would fight to get away and breathe but this time I don't want to, I don't want this moment to end, I want time to freeze so I can stay in this moment with my best friend. But I know time doesn't work like that. And sure enough she unwraps me and I can see she's been crying and still is, the tears are really flowing for both of us now.

It's really come to an end.

KARMA'S (mum)  P.O.V

Why on earth is she putting on a scarf to walk a few minutes down the road?
Sometimes I do wonder about what goes on in her head. I giggle to myself thinking back to when I was her age. God we're different. As I'm about to head upstairs to see how much packing she still has left my phone rings from in my bag down by the door "ffs Tamzin!" I yell as I scramble to the door, Can she not put anything back where it's meant to go! I manage to answer it in time "Hello, Karma speaking." my work voice automatically into play.

???: "Hello Ms Hart, it's Mel from the insurance company, we just have a few final things to sort then it will be up and running."

"Oh yes," I reply with a obvious sigh of relief
"I had wondered when you'd call! Let me just grab my papers then I'll be ready to finalise things."

TAMZINS'S  P.O.V

I quickly push mums meds through the door before she can see me and rope me into some last minute packing or cooking or something like that, looks like she's on the phone tbh, I sprint back down the drive hop into my little fiat and drive.

I put the radio on to discover something not so new, chart music is still shit. I fumble around at the traffic lights for my phone so I can plug it into the aux and get some decent music playing and sure enough I have a text from the very person I'm on my way to see.

I know it's not wise to open it but I've got a burning desire to do things like that, things I know I shouldn't. Guess you can call me a bad kinda gal. I open up the iMessage and just as I'm about to start reading it some fucking granny slams her horn at me to move. I throw my phone down in frustration.

I shout harshly out the window "Alright alright I'm going you old cow!" throwing in a wanker sign for good measure as I put my foot on the accelerator.
Lights are green if you've not figured.

Sure enough as if nothing's changed at all I've parked myself a couple of foot away from his house. I don't want him to see me, that way he will have a choice to answer or not. He doesn't deserve that.

I pluck up enough balls to actually make it out of the car.
Yay me.
Living with anxiety isn't always helpful when your trying to provoke to everyone you are a fearless ballzy girl. I knock my classic rhythm on his family's door.
Fuck why did I do that. I mentally facepalm. I meant to act casual.
Accept it's a little tricky when your stood on the front steps of someone you weren't just 'casual' with's door. I can hear his familiar footsteps padding down his carpeted stairs, the creek of the loose floorboard at the bottom, and as I'm about to turn and peg it because I'm bricking it...
It opens and he's in front of me.

"Fuck" The words are out my mouth before I've even registered what I've seen. I shouldn't of come.

???: "Tamzin I.." his gentle voice Is ringing warning signs in my head and that's the only excuse I need to get out of here.

"Save it" I spit out the words intending to hurt him, and by the look On his face it worked... Accept I feel kinda guilty and so I hesitated and that was all he needed.

He's grabbed my arm and pulled me inside I can feel the vibrations of the door closing running through my back as he gently, but firmly pushes me against it.