The secret last days of an American teenager

January Day 1/31

Whatever unexplained illness is causing me so much pain is also going to take away my future. The doctors gave me one month to live. I have thirty-one days left of my life. What would you do if you had thirty-one days left to live? I'm not quite sure I know what I'm going to do in these next days. But I don't want to waste any of it. My parents pulled me out of school. They didn't want me spending my last days without them. As I lie in my bed contemplating the meaning of life, my phone buzzes. At first I am angry that my phone disrupted my very important thoughts. But then when I see who its from I smile. 'Hey Jeni, how are ya?' I read from my screen of my iPhone. 'Bored, really, really, really, really bored.'

As soon as I reply, I hear someone banging on my window. I roll over and get up to open it. "What Jay! What!" I snapped, "Uhh... I came to see you." He replied, trying not to show his hurt at my words. "Oh, sorry." I say, awkwardly. "Sooo... What are you doing?" He asks me, trying to change the subject. "Just contemplating the meaning of life. Nothing interesting." I say, he must've seen the sadness in my eyes, because he said, "Get your shoes and coat." "Why?" I flatly reply, really not in the mood to go anywhere. "Just go get them, it's a surprise." Jay says, holding on to the ivy that grows up the side of my brick house. "Alright fine. Only for you." I reluctantly put on my coat and combat boots. And climb out the window and down the ivy. When we were on the ground, jay and I began walking into the woods. But something was different this time. We were going a different way this time. "Where are we going?" I ask out of curiosity. "You'll see." Jay says with a smile.

As we stomp through the forest in the snow, neither of us say anything he just keeps pulling me along. Finally we climb a steep hill and at the top the view. The view was extraordinary. You could see the whole town. With all the nights and smoke from the trains. Peoples Christmas lights and still up and twinkling. The sight was one I would take with me to the grave. "Pretty isn't it?" Jay asks, "Breathtaking." I say in complete awe. "This could be the most beautiful thing I see before I... Well you know..." My voice cracks and trails off. He slides his hand into mine, but I pull my hand away. He looks away, embarrassed. "Jay- I-I'm sorry..." I croak, my throat dry and my voice hoarse. "It's just hard for me that's all..." He replies, I can hear the tears he won't show and I can feel the sadness he refuses to display. "It's hard on me too. You know..." I choke back the tears that I know will eventually run. Finally all the awkwardness ends and we sit down side by side on a log. "You know... I'm allergic to apples." Jay randomly said as he stared off into space. "Apples? Who's allergic to apples?" I respond, not looking at him, but gazing at the twinkling lights below us. "Me." He said back, turning his head to look at me. I didn't answer him, I just stared into in deep blue eyes. "I'm also allergic to mustered seeds." He says with a smile, "Are you allergic to everything!?" I half shout and then throw my head back laughing. "Maybe." He said while laughing. "How's everyone at school?" I ask after we calmed down, "Oh they're good. They miss you though." Jay said. It was cloudy out and snowing so it was pretty dark the whole day but now it was getting really dark. "We should get you back home before dark." He said, standing up and offering me his hand. I took it and stood up, then we began our walk through the woods in silence.