Walking in Light and Shade - Moment by Moment Book #2 (Harry Potter, Drarry)

Shades of Grey and Light

Harry smiled and nodded and his stomach growled as his brain caught up with how empty it was.

"Right then, first we'll get you sat up, and then I'll have some brought along."

Harry put himself gratefully into the capable hands of Poppy Pomfrey, ignoring Moody, who reminded him too much of the war, and enjoying the feeling of being that little bit younger, which his associations with his carer gave him. She cajoled and bullied him in equal measure into a sitting position, plumped up on a thousand pillows, and then she hurried off to organise an answer to his belly's grumbling.

Only once Poppy was gone did the young man relax. He let the pillows take all his weight and absently rubbed his forehead; it took him a few moments to realise that, for the first time in a long while, his scar was silent, and it felt strange, but peaceful. That peace lasted as long as it took him to look back at his remaining observer. Almost instantly, he didn't like the look he was being given. Mad-Eye was a disturbing enough vision when he wasn't grimacing, but despite the gap of years, Harry had spent forty-eight months working with his fellow Order-member, and he could tell that Moody was about to deliver bad news. The young man didn't want bad news, he wanted smiles and comfort, and with the mists of safety evaporating, he frowned at his comrade.

"Welcome back, Harry," the hard-bitten Auror began in his normal gruff tones, unfolding his arms, but staying between the end of the bed and the door.

Harry had the distinct impression that his companion's position was significant, and he had a second feeling of emotional discomfort as he gathered that Moody was not in the room entirely for his benefit.

"What is it, Moody?" he asked defensively.

Alastor Moody gave a hrmph!, and his magic eye spun around in his head, but he then nodded with a smile of resignation.

"You been taking perception lessons?" he asked off-handedly, but continued without waiting for a reply, "You've been to hell and back, boy; the others will be here soon, and they'll be wanting to wrap you in cotton wool because of it, but you and I both know you're better off with all the facts."

Harry wasn't sure his emotions agreed right then, but the logical part of his brain reminded him of the last time he hadn't had all the facts: Sirius death was not something the young man had ever come to terms with, but he had learnt from it, and so he nodded at his companion silently.

"I'm your friend, Harry," the gnarled man reminded him, and there was some warmth in his gravely voice, "and I am glad that you're out of that monster's hands, but --," Harry gritted his teeth, "- you were out of sight for twenty-four days."

[So that is how long,] Harry mused, knowing he was using the facts to stop his emotions from impacting him too much.

Moody, unaware of his subject's internal mutterings, carried on, "Malfoy told us what he knows about what happened to you in that castle."

At the mention of his lover, the young man's need for facts took a left turn and he demanded,

"Draco, how -- where is he?"

His companion appeared momentarily startled by the sharpness in Harry, but his expression settled to a suspicion that didn't look new. He folded his arms again and answered coolly, "Malfoy is well enough, he's being kept in a warded cell so those runes of his don't let the world know where we are. Our people have been debriefing him along with the Resistance: interesting story he had to tell."

The patient's frown grew darker at the mistrust he read in Moody; he should have been used to it, the man had always been world-weary and cynical, but against what he knew and had experienced with Draco, it brought Harry's defences right up. The more-experienced Auror could not miss his comrade's hackles as they rose, and he smiled.

"Hit a nerve, boy, well sorry, but this is war and we don't take chances," Moody countered, unconcerned by the hostility. "And as I was saying, you're a chance. Twenty four days in your own personal torture chamber has to change a man, and coupled with the fact that you've been out of the loop for three years, you could be a liability too."

Harry looked away then, smarting from the blunt disclosure; he didn't need this now, he had fought so hard to get out, and now he was facing more difficulties. He wanted his friends, support, comfort, not to be told that they didn't trust him.

"Look boy," Harry was drawn back by a change in Moody's voice, a softer edge of compassion, and his old-ally was leaning on the edge of the bed, "I know it's hard, and we're all on your side, but you have to understand that there's more than just you involved here. We risk everything every time we make a decision, and so they don't come easy. We're all behind you, you'd have the entire Order in your corner if we could fit 'em, but I'm warning you that you're going to need patience. There'll be a load of questions and more people asking them, and you're going to resent it. Trust doesn't come quickly round here anymore, but if it's deserved, it will come."

"And why don't you trust me, Moody?" Harry decided to be direct as well, it gave him some defence against his feelings.

The Auror stood straight again, but he didn't avoid the question, in fact he stared straight at his comrade, his magic eye perfectly still.

"Malfoy."

The young man smiled grimly. There hadn't been much opportunity for anyone to ascertain his relationship to Draco, but Tonks had seen something between them in the car, and it appeared, so had Moody. Harry couldn't be sure, but he was pretty convinced that the younger Malfoy would not have been totally open about the affair, and even in the short disclosure, he could see the Auror fishing for information. Instead of providing for what Moody was looking, the young man chose to fish himself, and observed, "And yet you acted on the word of a House Elf that Snape surmised he had sent."

"Snape's guesses aside," Moody countered, clearly disquieted by the lack of response to his unspoken question, "we'd been looking for a way to get you out since getting information that you were at Hogwarts. The elf seemed convinced that he was doing good by delivering the message, and we thought it was worth the risk."

"Thank you," Harry was caught unawares by the gratitude that came out in the simple words; his emotions tumbled over each other, the defensive hurt mixing with the relief of safety and the appreciation he felt for the chances his comrades had taken for him. The confusion actually gave him a little perspective, and Moody must have seen it in his softening features, because he risked asking, "Just between you and me, Harry, what does Malfoy have on you?"

The young man chose not to follow the hostility which could have risen again; Moody was not going to change, he was naturally suspicious, and after three years away, Harry had to get used to that again.

"We found out we're the same," he answered with a secret little smile that the admission brought to his lips.

Alastor's eyebrows hit his hairline, but Harry wasn't ready to explain in more detail. When the walls had come down, then he could expose his feelings for scrutiny, but not now, not when trust didn't exist. For now, enigma would have to satisfy.