we remember // 5sos

chapter forty-five

"Okay Calum, you're all set to go." Sydney took the final IV out of Calum's arm, Calum hopped off the bed, and followed Sydney out of the room.
Standing in the hallway was Luke and Mali, eagerly waiting to help Calum get back to the center. Mali hugged Calum right away and Luke smiled really big.

Calum seemed a bit of the cheery side, he seemed to be more energetic it was a good sign.

Around 15 minutes later, Calum arrived back at the center; Luke and Mali helped Calum get settled back in. They stayed until they couldn't anymore.

After Mali and Luke walked out; Dr Herman walked in. He greeted Calum with a big handshake. Calum actually smiled.

"Hello, Calum, How are you doing today?" Dr Herman took a seat directly in front of where Calum was.

"I'm doing pretty good today, actually." Calum said every word with a smile.

"You're definitely looking so much better than yesterday." The doctor complimented Calum.

"Now I spent all yesterday night creating a better treatment regime for you. I think it fits your needs perfectly." Calum slid closer to the edge of the bed waiting for what the doctor had to say.

"Firstly, I'm giving you full access to the piano in the multi-purpose room. If you feel a negative thought or start to feel overwhelmed whether it's 3am or 3pm you can go to the piano and play your heart out as long as you like." Calum really enjoyed what the doctor was telling him.

"Another thing I recommend is starting a journal of some sort: maybe write how your feeling for the day or what you did, I think it would be good for you to have your thoughts done on paper." Calum nodded his head in agreement.

"I also want to take you off the medicines I prescribed. I do not want you to become dependent on them. I want you to have healthy coping mechanisms. I rather have you be yourself than someone you're not." Calum nodded his head in agreement.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"Will I feel a difference when I'm no longer on the meds?" Calum asked with a concerned tone in his voice.

"Believe it or not, you may feel an improvement with your mood. The receptors in your brain will slowly reboot themselves ; and eventually the panic and anxiety attacks will lessen." Calum just listened and didn't say a word.

"I know that I originally medicated you to try and keep you under control and calm but I know realized that isn't the real you. And considering you had a bad reaction the first time around I don't want to take any more chances it can be even more detrimental to your healing process."
Calum agreed once more.

"But before I was even on meds, I was crying all the time and was getting freaked out a lot, wouldn't I just return back to that state?" Calum was full of questions.

"Not exactly - if you follow through with the piano playing and journal writing, your mind will become preoccupied, and you'll be able to find your normal again."

Calum furrowed his eyebrows before saying a word.

"How about the flashbacks and the survivors guilt?" Dr Herman tapped his pen on his notebook before replying.

"Unfortunately I don't have the proper answer for that. It may just be something that will dwindle as time goes on. If we can try to eliminate or deal with your triggers the flashbacks maybe easier to get rid of."
Calum started to fiddle his thumbs on his lap.

"Doctor, I have a question." Dr Herman gave Calum his undivided attention and let him speak his mind.

"Why was I affected so badly, and my other bandmates weren't?"
Dr Herman took a deep breath, trying to figure out on what to say.