Rhythm of the Falling Rain

The noise of drops pelting the ground, bore in through the open window, partially wetting the table placed near the window also. Curtains were dancing to the wind in joyous movements, glittering shadows of the rain glistened into his eyes.The falling droplets of rain in the pleasant breeze which mingled with the warmth of the night were like diamond pieces falling from heaven. But his heaven was afar, he couldn't see it anymore. He wished, needed, and wanted his heaven but for his mistakes, it had to be taken away from him. There was no reason to view the symbol that once had brought them together, arose new feelings, and wantons for the other, now it spoke of their heart shed and pain. The glossy crystals now felt like tears as the skies above were crying over their partition, the fates spoke of their heartbreak and thunderous streaks bellowed their anger.  

It was like nature itself was taunting the disastrous parting of ways. They were the meant to be's, different paths could not align their future, in order to live, they were to breath together, co - exist through each others presence. When their fate had been written, they were cursed, pained, loved, wanted, hated, but in the end they had to be together. No where was, living a lonely life stated. It just could not be. Arnav and Khushi two halves of a whole, they existed because of each other. How does one ever, be complete without their halves.

And that is exactly how Arnav Singh Raizada felt when he watched his, wife, the reason for his breath each day walk away in front of his bare eyes. He felt cheated by fate, why give him a taste of life, only to take it away again. It was not right, he could almost feel the cruel laughter of destinies above laughing at him, when he could not do anything but watch khushi walk out of his life, in this same shattering rain. Yes, the heavens above were cruel, but in many ways they were setting right to the wrong he had done. Which is why, the great ASR had to control the urge to lock Khushi up in his room and throw away the key, so no one could take her away from him. He had come to understand the necessity of redemption. And that was where he had been heading for months.

His first thought had been to not exist without her, but the heartless women, had even taken that right away from him. He knew, she knew, dying was much easier than living without her. And that is why when the whole shyam truth had come out and he had come to see clear for the first time in his life. He regretted every breath which his ego had destroyed. He begged for every moment, he had tainted with her. But When his eyes had met her's, he had seen, a moment of content and than it was like she let go. Khushi, five steps away from, felt like eons from him because at that moment he realized, she let go of him.

Her exact words later that night had been, '' a relation can only survive if there is trust, respect, and love between the two people. We have love, much of it, but respect and trust got lost somewhere, it took a third person to redeem myself in your eyes. It just goes to show, how long of a way we have to go Arnav. Life does not only survive of love, yes it is a part of it, a big chunk but not the whole. The moment i asked you trust me you didn't, my words, the woman you love, her words didn't mean anything to you, and Shyam ji's did, his lies, his facade, his betrayal, you believed. But you didn't respect me enough to place your trust in me, and thats where you lost me, because somewhere i lost me''

Within that exact moment, when those words had left her lips, Arnav had come to realize the damage he had caused.

''I am leaving Arnav. I need to find myself because for the longest of whiles all i have about is making you like me, see me as your wife, find my place in your life. Now i am tired, i need to be the Khushi i used to be, i need to be me, the old me. i don't want to have to fight for you anymore because i need to know, you will be there by my side when i need you''

His lips had been shut dry, lungs contracted as air refused to go out, eyes lids closed in a defeating bow.,'' i am sorry''

the amused smile was neither sarcastic, nor a reprise, it was just there. Her brown orbs drew into his and she spoke, '' how does a heart go on, without its beat. Arnav i may hate you right now, but i will always love you''

there was another realization that surfaced in those moments, Arnav Singh Raizada, loved this woman with his honest heart, but he had never confessed these words to her ever. Never gave her the satisfaction of knowing she was loved. Khushi knew of his feelings, but Arnav had never actually spoken them loud into words for her ears to hear, or for her heart o absorb. All he had ever said was in the silence, that was the only way he could trust himself with her. Silence, didn't threaten his fake ego, neither his fragile heart, it was just a safer way to communicate with her, in case his feelings were thrown back on his face.

''I love you'' he was sure it was bare as the softest whisper, but the heightened look in her eyes told him, she had heard him. But than it was gone before he could even savor it, '' i really wish that was enough Arnav''

picking up her suitcase filled with her clothes and trinkets, she moved alongside the door, never flinching or pausing, because she could clearly see the road she needed to take. This was her setting right to her life again. Her being herself once again.

But as always farewells were not forever, glancing back she gave him one of those striking smiles of hers and courageously took him in, as if memorizing his whole being,then  turned back to the room door.

'' am i ever going to see you again?''

the pause in her step was not due to nerves or accidental, it was because she knew she owed him an explanation. A reasoning which he was not understanding among his turmoil, '' Arnav you just said you loved me. I live in your heart, i will be there with you every step of the way''

''Khushi, i have to ask you once, just so i know i didn't fail without trying. Will you stay?''

Her response had been the silence, he often left her too. It was a defeating, hollowness of nothing, he suddenly could feel every emotion to have slithered through her due to his ego.

She stepped out of the door, and closed the doors behind her. For once leaving him to rot in his own created hell because she had enough of it. She was moving on, it was not that she did not love the man behind those doors she did but she needed him to prove, his love for her. She was through with proving herself, the better sister, the better wife, the better daughter, now she needed someone to come for her. And she would wait for the Arnav Singh Raizada, because her heart told her, he would come.

It had been months, since she had left. But he knew she was waiting for him, the soft hush of the winds, pitter patter of the raindrops constantly reminding him of her. He ached for just one sight of her, those huge saucers twinkling away, plump lips spelling an adorable smile, her hands playing around the hem of her duppatta, clearing pointing out her nervousness. It was all there, except she wasn't. Her memories within this room, taunted him, gave him the greatest of griefs

Arnav Singh Raizada, was remorseful of his action towards the innocent Khushi, and the moments apart had definitely continuously, shattered his delusion of his ego. He knew what she had meant by needing trust and respect and which is why he gave her the space she needed. Like she had said, she was always with him, he just needed to look within his heart and she would be right beside him. Where are you khushi? he whispered to himself, looking out the window, into the cloudy, dark night.

''laad governor, you called?''

the soft, luminous whisper of that hoarse voice, shook his insides and he wondered if he was just dreaming. Turning around on his heels, he looked into the same dazzled eyes, whom he had been yearning for one look at. Those twitching lips of her playing a small smile, and her fingers intertwined with the hem ofter, shocking pink dupatta.

She was here, he could smell her lavender scent, that was already driving his senses insane. Arnav didn't know whether to reach his hands out and touch her, lest she disappear, he was almost to afraid to loose her again.

slowly his hands reached out embarking towards the luminous figure, praying and hoping, she was not a mere visage of his illusion.But his dream shattered, when he came to nothing.The realization that she was not actually here, spiraled through him. The rain outside clanked in hurling sounds and all he could hear was the rhythm of the rain, no other sound knew his being.He was empty without her.