Shards of Sanity (Book 6, Forgotten Series)

Chapter Thirteen

It took me nearly an hour to comb out all of the tangles in Lilith's hair. Her hair had been straight and sleek by the time I had finished. It had taken all I had to not sit there and run my fingers through it. I had never really been around someone who had such straight hair. I had managed to stop myself from doing that and then had asked her if she had wanted me to put it up. She had been rather forcefully adamant that she wanted it down. I had immediately dropped the subject, it was her hair and I would abide by her rules. Then she had suddenly cowered and begged me to not put her into the dark.

It had been hard for me not to react to that, to not rage against the male who had caused her to react so negatively against stating her own wants. I had done my best though, keeping that rage hidden from her as I gently assured her that it was okay, that her stating her own boundaries would never make me do that to her. I would never punish a female for telling me no, for telling me she didn't want to do what I wished.

Once I had gotten her to calm down and assured that I wouldn't harm her because she simply said she wanted her hair down, we headed for the dining hall. It was packed with people, pictures of Amelia hung on the walls and sat on the tables. It was hard to see her smiling face and know that she was gone. It was like a sharp sword through my chest at the reminder of what had been lost to give me Lilith. There was a heavy guilt to that for me, that Amelia was taken to give me a second mate. It didn't matter that I was Lilith's blessing and she was not mine. Amelia was still gone and I still had Lilith by my side, the reason she was there was not important.

I kept my eyes on Lilith as she moved around the tables, making sure she was staying put. She had already wandered off out of my view once so I more than believed Ambris when she said that Lilith had that tendency. She was humming, I could tell she was even from my spot near the wall. She was also arranging the food trays but I figured if the tasked helped her relax then it was a good thing for her to do. I wanted her to be a relaxed as possible, the last thing she needed was to be stressed. The atmosphere was already sombre and a bit tense so I didn't want her to be overly affected by it.

I could see the pack looking between the two of us as they seemed to flow around her, never straying into her orbit. It was like she seemed to physically repel them, like they couldn't get close to her. I didn't like seeing it, seeing that wariness they had to her, like they were almost scared of her. She needed to be accepted by them in a way that wasn't through the fear they had of what she could do or what she saw through the veil or was told by Mene.

She shuffled to another table, gently shifting Amelia's pictures before once again starting on the food trays. She was swimming in my clothes. The hoodie's sleeves were rolled up and the hoodie itself was hanging more than halfway down her thighs. The sweatpants' hems were rolled up as well. She was also barefoot as she walked around.

I took my eyes off of her for a moment as I looked around, Shey and Luka weren't in the hall. Gamgam, Lace, Mari, and the rest of their family had taken them to the study to allow them time to grieve with their family before they would allow the pack to join them. It was easier to let out grief when family was there to show you support. It settled the wolves to have the family close, it helped them grieve through the loss they felt and the humans would follow. After the wolves were settled, then the pack would be allowed in to grieve over the lost future.

I turned back to Lilith, she was still humming and arranging the food trays. Her hair slid over her shoulders to sway in front of her face and my fingers itched to run through it. I shook the thought out of my head as quickly as it appeared. There was no need for that right now. Ezekiel, how are things going? I sent it to my brother Beta and I received images of Luka and Shey sitting on one of the couches, Gamgam sat between them, stroking their hair as Jace, Davin, Maricella, Lace, Azrael, and the others sat around them. Muted conversation followed the images and I pressed my lips together, swallowing hard. Thank you, brother. I closed the connection, keeping my eyes on Lilith as I did so.