Beautifully Broken

Chapter 1 - Without Him

"Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being,"

- Jean-Yves Leloup

The next morning I wake up with a pounding feeling in my head and before I know it everything comes back to me. He's gone. He left me. While I blink back the tears threatening to spill I try and compose myself. I plaster a fake smile on my face not quite ready face anyone yet. I remember Nanny Cath once telling me "The worst kind of pain is when you're smiling just to stop the tears from falling".

I aimlessly make my way downstairs. I hear voices in the kitchen and follow the noise. To my surprise, I find my  two best friends sitting on the chairs around the breakfast bar talking to my brother no louder than just a whisper. I stand there with my ears glued to the door as I strain to hear what they're talking about.

And it's the usual topic...me. No surprise there. I clear my throat extra loud as I walk in to make it clear to them that I was present. 

"Seriously? do you have nothing better to do than discuss me at this time in the morning? I know I'm interesting and all but really?" As I walk further in towards the kitchen the delicious smell of pancakes hit me.

"There you are baby sis. I see you've finally decided to enlighten us with your presence" Nathan, my brother replies with a smirk completely ignoring what I said.

Laura and Cameron turn to face me and I can see the slight hint of guilt in their eye's. "I may be a little off right now, but I'm not oblivious to what's happening around me".

Laura (who we call Lu) walks towards me and hugs me "Sorry we just can't help but be a little worried, you know we do this because we love you right?"

"Yeah, I know but can we please change the subject?" Just as I take a seat my stomach rumbles and my brother bursts out laughing "Nanny Cath the beast needs to be fed. If we don't feed her now she may result into eating one of us".

Cameron (who we call Cam) laughs with his mouth full "Hey don't eat me eat Lu."

" HEYY! Don't look at me. Eat Cameron" Laura giggles outs.

"You guys are impossible" I say shaking my head.

Just when my stomach decides to sound like a dying whale again Nanny Cath places a plate full of pancakes topped with fresh fruit and golden syrup. I take one big bite and can't help but close my eyes making my eyeballs roll back in satisfaction and I relish the amazing taste."Mmmmmm"

" Jheeze girl you having a mouth orgasm or something?" Cameron says with a slight smirk,  I slap his head, "Oww! Hey what was that for?"

"Shutup you jerk. You don't know how good they taste, it tastes  like heaven is melting away in your mouth, only better."

Nathan then swiftly stabs his fork into my pancakes and take a large bite, I slap his hand away.

"Hey bug off that's my food, get your own!"

"Jheeze Ella bear I only took a tinsy bite besides you do say sharing is caring?" He replies with a smug smile.

"You took a bite? Just a tinsy bite? Then explain to me why half my plate is now EMPTY?" Just as Nathan tries to sneak near my plate to take another bite I catch him.

"Naaaaay! Omg you fat pig how much do you eat!?"

"Let her eat before the two of you end up wrestling each other on the floor" Laura interrupts.