From Fall to Winter

Chapter 5

"I just need some space", he cut me off and walked into into a dark hallway. I lost him quickly.

Ok so it can hurt.

I felt a little embarrassed by that.

If only Adam was able to come. It would be hard to keep our distance in front of Cillian's colleagues. I wouldn't be alone either. I wish Des was here but she was in Puerto Rico for the week. Hell, I wouldn't even mind Tammy being here.  Angela was for everybody. I can't tie her down to me.

I really just wanted to get out of here.

I had a joint in my bag but Angela hates the smell of pot in her place. Liquor it is. I went into her cabinets where she hid her dark liquors and secretly poured myself a glass. The warmth throughout my body really eased things up. I took a walk through the halls. There was a lot of women dressed in sleazy basic costumes. Not judging them for it's promiscuity but it's Fall come on now. Also a waste of a costume. The guys just seemed like assholes. I really wondered how many of these people were actually professors respected in academia. By the time I surveyed the apartment I made it to Angela's room, which was now shared.

The door was ajar and I opened it. She kept it in pretty much the same condition. I didn't turn the lights on because she used those bulbs that project white pasty lights. Makes you feel locked up. Besides the streetlights coming in through the window were enough.

There was a corner where books were stacked up.
Blood Meridian, King Lear, The Scorching Wind, Middlemarch. Interesting choices.

Even the dresser had minimal products of his. Some gel, a glasses case, ibuprofen.

"Looking for something?"

Caught.

I looked straight in the mirror to see him behind me.

"Um, ibuprofen. I needed one. Is that ok?"

"Take away."

He closed his door and knocked his shoes off. Jumped into his bed. Yes, still as Batman. Only his knees were visible by light.

I may have crossed a boundary earlier but I felt a need to know. Not out of nosiness but of concern for him.

I walked slowly to him and sat on the far corner of the bed.

"Cillian", I adjusted myself in that corner, "please tell me what's up."

He nodded his head again, "I just hate everything."

He reached into his drawer of his bedside table. A pack of Newport's. He went in again. A glass tray. One more time. This ones taking longer. A lighter. Ah the holy Trinity.

He put the cigarette in his mouth and proceeded to light it. He stopped and stared at me. Was I staring at him?

"Yes?"

Oh shit I was.

"Angela doesn't like the smell of smoke."

"Well fuck her." He lit it.

Ok so now I know.