Fallen Families

Chapter 31

"Why are you telling me all of this?" She asked. 

" because I can see that you are lost in thought, not the good kind." He sighed. "as weird as this is for both of us, you are my birth daughter, and you have my DNA and unfortunately for you, you are likely to have what I have." 

"and what exactly do you have?" She asked silently. 

"I try not to mention it a lot, but I do suffer from anxiety and that causes me to become trapped in my head and fall in line with what the voices are telling me. If they say it too much I end up believing them, makes me sound a little bit crazy I know." He laughed silently as a way to relieve the nerves in his stomach.

"Are you saying that I have anxiety?" She asked the fear was clearly written in her eyes. But Chris didn't reply yes, instead he explained to her something else. 

"There are many different forms of anxiety, and I can't tell you if you do or don't. I am not a doctor, you could be having just a very bad day. No, what I am trying to say is that I know the effects of being too stuck in your head and talking to someone usually helps." he looked her in the eyes. "Don't let the voices in the back of your head bring you down, talk to ones out here who care and don't want to bring you down." 

There was silence in the tree house. Chris hoped that he had done a good job of explaining to her that bottling things up will get her nowhere. No one can help if they don't know the problem. She can't expect them to know her problems if she won't share. Communication was really key. 

"What if the voices aren't in your head?" She asked, almost to the point where he couldn' hear her voice. Chris didn't know what to say to her, she was suffering from something entirely different then what he is going through. 

"speaking to someone can help, at least that is what I believe no matter the circumstance. I believe that talking to someone helps. If you don't you are creating this bed for self, and when you can't keep it together people are going to ask why didn't you stop when you knew it wouldn't last long, or they will say it's your mess clean it up, they can make you sleep in that bed. As wrong, as that may sound, keeping it locked up, was your choice, do yourself a favor now and stop while your ahead." 

"Speaking about it may seem scary to some people. What if they don't have the courage to do it?" she was looking him in the eyes, there was a certain sadness behind the eyes as she spoke the soft words to him. 

"maybe the thing you're most of is exactly what you should do," he was sincere and had a calm effect in his voice. 

"But talking about it will show how weak I am." She said. "My parents always tell me how strong I am being, what if speaking about this is showing my weakness. I don't want to seem weak." 

"It's not quitting, it's not giving up your strength. It's rising above your thoughts and those people, showing them they can't decide how you live your life." Chris sighed. "Because trust me, those people who are talking about you have no control over you. You are your own person with your own life, and from my point of view I think you're an amazing person." 

"Everything just doesn't make sense right now," She sighed. 

"Does it ever? It's funny how people have lived on this earth for over 6 million years and yet we don't know even half of what lies in the soil." he laughed. "In twenty years from now, you will think of this as a very interesting point in your life. And half of this won't matter." 

"But it matters right now," 

"I can't tell you how much of my life was wasted, hours of my wasted on believing and accepting the voice in my head. I wish I could take it all back and just live the life I wanna live." he looked down at his hands and then back up at her. "Your battle is not with your brain, and that alone makes it easier to separate yourself from the cause." 

"How exactly do I do that?" 

"Well for starters, your family seems amazing," He smiled. "They care about you so much, and surrounding yourself with people who care about you helps a lot in the long run. Your family is probably going to be the only people who will always be in your life." 

"Are you guys going to be in my life forever?" She asked. It was a simple question, and it carried a lot of background and emotion. He had to decide for himself if he was giving her useless hope. I mean he wouldn't be here if didn't want to form some kind of relationship with her? He knew Scarlett would kill to be with her again, but was he willing to do the same? 

"Do you want me to be around?" He asked softly. Nicole stared at him with her eyes that resembled his so much.

"I don't want to care about things that don't matter, but I want to care about you guys. This is probably the most awkward thing I have ever done, but I want to have a relationship with you and Scarlett, I want to be able to talk to you because you are a really good person to talk to. You understand me in a way my parents or anyone else rarely has."  

"When I was younger I did stupid things all the time, and I believed things would happen and they never did. Now I use my logical side, I try and comprehend the situation before I make a decision. This is my real life and I don't have a script to tell me what to do," This conversation was one of the more meaningful ones they both have had in a long time. " but since you came back into our lives, I felt scared I will mess up, but excited for the coming future. So yes, I wanna see where life will take us. That is of course if you want me to be in yours." 

"Thank you," she said. "I can't seem to talk to many people properly anymore. They just don't understand me. They don't comprehend what is going on in the depts of my head. You seem to." 

"As I said, it being inside my head is something I know a lot about. Overcoming this anxiety I have hopefully going to lead me down a great path. I'm in for the whole experience of life, and for me, this is part of the journey." She smiled at him. 

"You sound like a fortune cookie," She laughed very lightly. 

"Well, that one I got from someone else. Someone who knows a lot about helping others," He couldn't help but smile. Think about her always made him smile. 

"You know if you ask her out she would probably say yes." Chris looked up at Nicole with a confused look on his face, trying to hide his emotions with confusion. 

"I um... I don't know what you are talking about." He said leaning back and crossing his arms across his chest. 

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a horrible liar?" She asked and Chris laughed. "But seriously, I know things are weird between all of us... but if I am willing to try and get along with you both can't you get along with each other?" 

"We are friends. We do get along," 

"You could practically cut the tension between you two with a butter knife. I don't think that is getting along." She claimed. Chris didn't want to argue so he agreed. 

"I hope our conversation helped you," He smiled sweetly. 

"It did. and for the record, I don't think you're crazy." She smiled at him, this conversation allowed him to see her smile and he got to say he loved seeing her smile, it did something to his heart. 

"thank you, and I don't think that you're weak," he said. "I hope we can have more conversations like this, it really helps the soul." He smiled like a father would at his daughter. 

"I would enjoy that a lot," She smiled. The two looked at each other, and for the first time since they met, they were content with one another. Maybe communication was key. 

I am hoping for more constant updates! I am not only really inspired right now but I have nothing but free time! Hopefully, I will post real soon! Please leave a comment and review