December // A Winter Soldier Story

39

ｊａｎｕａｒｙ ７ｔｈ， ２０１４

２９°

ℬ𝓊𝒸𝓀𝓎

He recovers quickly after his momentary distraction, replacing his foot to where it was before he stepped forward and instantly killing any man within ten feet of him that tried to capitalize on his mistake. Irritated and concerned, he fights harder, unleashing his true skills on those around him. Just ahead, Steve ignores his wound and keeps fighting; he is less hurt than Bucky originally thought, which comes as a relief. The bullet pierced his side, but it wasn't close enough to his spine to pierce any organs. He'll be ok.

But in Bucky's distracted stupor, he has not seen the real mistake he has made yet.

He hears it first. A thud, a shuffling of the grass behind him, so close that at first he is confused. But then he realizes - it's Lea. A chill runs down his back and he inadvertently shudders before turning.

She is on the ground, her eyes wide, staring up at him. Her fingers clutch her stomach. She's been shot. It's not immediately apparent what kind of damage has been done, but based on the steady pool of blood pouring from the wound and soaking the ground, she is in need of immediate medical attention.

He instantly drops to the ground beside her and ignores the rest of the world. He is lucky that everyone else has sorted out their problems, and noticed Lea's injury; Steve and the others have already leapt into action and moved to protect Lea and Bucky from Hydra. But Bucky is blind to all this because he is consumed with fear.

In a mad rush, he unties the shred of her shirt on his arm and holds it against her stomach, trying to staunch the flow of blood. His other hand finds its way to her cheek, cupping the soft skin there. His intense eyes burn into her own.

"Lea," he breathes, at a loss for words, full of nothing but raw pain. "Lea."

She grabs the arm he's using to cup her cheek with her hand, smearing blood across his suit and onto the skin of his wrist. Her breathing is labored and her eyes are still wide; either with shock or realization, he can't tell.

"Bucky." He used to live for the way she said his name, the way she moved her mouth to form each syllable. But he can't stand the way she says it now - alarmed, panicked, despairing. He could listen to her speak forever, but not like this. "I guess it's later," she gasps, a small, bitter smile on her lips.

He is confused, but then he remembers. There will be plenty of time to talk later, she had said. The gravity of that sentence threatens to choke him now.

"Lea, you can't...you're going to be fine, this isn't-"

"Bucky," she whispers. Tears are welling up and streaking down his cheeks against his will. Her other hand reaches up to wipe them away. "Hey. It's ok. Everything is going to be ok."

The man with the wings has leaned over to press down on her wound, and Steve has called for help. But they all know. It's written across everyone's face. This is nothing more than stolen time.

"You can't go," Bucky breathes, letting his heart speak as it wants. "I just fell in love with you."

To hear it out loud is everything. He is shocked that he is capable of saying such things, but as he utters it, he knows it is the truest thing he's ever said; as soon as Lea hears it, her pain is numbed by a feeling of happiness. "I love you too, Bucky. So much." He feels warm. But then he sees the puddle of blood still growing beneath her, and comprehends that with this much blood loss, she's not going to get help in time. He swallows the panic rising in his throat, tries to keep it together for her.

The battle rages around them. Men firing round after round, fighting in the name of their beliefs. They watch their comrades fall, risk their own lives, feel the weight of murder hang over their heads - all for a battle that will result in nothing but a loss of life. The organizations everyone is fighting for - Hydra and the Avengers - will live on regardless of what happens today. Bucky sees how pointless all of this is, and knows that her suffering has no real good cause, which infuriates him beyond belief. But he suppresses his rage because he only has a little while left with her, and he wouldn't trade that for all of the revenge in the world.

"Lea, you saved me from myself, and from Hydra. I've been trapped for seventy years and you were the one to free me. That's a debt I can never repay," he tells her, his eyes scanning every inch of her face, memorizing every detail of her eyes, lips, skin. What it all looks like when she is alive.

"There's nothing to repay. You saved me too, you know." She gasps slightly for air. "Before you, I had never really lived. You freed me from a life that I wasn't enjoying and made me feel something." A pause, a grimace of pain. "You gave me hope."

He rubs her cheek with his thumb, uses his metal hand to intertwine his fingers with her own. Her touch is the only thing keeping him from breaking down. It has always soothed him - he can't imagine losing it. "I promised I would protect you."

She stares into his eyes. "You did. More than you know."

Bucky swallows. "I will never love anyone like this. Not again," he mutters. Her eyes are getting further away, and her sharp breaths and clenched muscles tell him that she is beginning to feel the full pain of her injury. He holds her hand tighter, as if that will keep the pain at bay, as if it will keep her here with him.

"Try." She surprises him with the conviction in her voice, as if she's pulled the last of her strength together to make sure he listens to this one thing she has to say. "Try to live a life worth living after this. For me. Promise you will."

Her eyelids flicker. Thinking about a life without her makes him want to close his eyes and never open them again, to end it all so that after she is gone, he can find her and be with her again in the darkness that comes after life. But she is dying, and this is her last wish, and he must give it to her. He would do anything for her - that statement must hold true, even for something like this. Even for something that will break him in half.

With tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat and a chest that is bursting with agony, he nods. "I promise."

Her last breath leaves her lungs. Her chest does not rise again.