THE BLADERUNNER ｡PETER PARKER

thirty-seven

chapter thirty-seven

The Royal Pavilion was a nice building to sit atop and mull things over. J.D wore a pair of dark pants and a hoodie while she was sneaking around, managing to stay out of sight as she climbed up to the roof. The moon was high in the sky that night, though a light blanket of rain spat on the grassy grounds of Brighton. J.D didn't mind. She liked the cold weather, it helped her think.

She'd been lying on her bed only an hour ago, trying to wrap her head around the decision she was supposed to be making. She couldn't seem to clear her mind, so she'd jumped out the window and taken a stroll through the quiet town. It was a Sunday night, so many of the city folk were in their homes awaiting the working day ahead, leaving her to her own devices.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" she mumbled, leaning against one of the pillars and staring up at the sky, raindrops falling on her forehead. She sighed, and looked down at the backpack she had brought with her, hesitating for the briefest of moments before reaching for it and pulling the zipper open.

Involuntary tears sprung in her eyes as her fingers touched the cool fabric of the Bladerunner mask. She pulled the accessory out and sat it on her lap, staring down at the intricate design. She hated it. But at the same time, it had allowed her to save people. It had helped her overcome her trauma from her time in Sokovia. It was her connection to Pietro, to Wanda, to Peter.

Peter.

She looked down at the necklace charm that sat on her collarbone. Through her blurry vision, the metal chain glinted. God, she missed him. He was her light in the darkness and the one person she knew could bring a smile to her face. He couldn't fix her; no one could but herself, but she knew how pure of heart he was.

Sniffling a little and wiping her nose on her sleeve, J.D swallowed the lump in her throat and threw the uniform to the side, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment and released a shaky sigh. What was she supposed to do?

As much as she despised the character, the Bladerunner would always be a part of her. Unlike Peter, who jumped at any chance to be Spider-Man, she ran away from her powers. She hadn't used them in such a long time, she didn't know if she still had it in her to try. But if this woman Steve spoke of was as dangerous as implied, she couldn't let anyone get hurt. Her driving forces had always been her friends and family. So, what stopped her now?

It was the new need to take care of herself.

She had grown since last year. She wasn't going to put herself in harm's way because she had no value for her life, as now, she did. If faced with the situation, she would protect others before herself, but the things she used to do were unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. She didn't need to hurt Flash in retaliation for his actions, or live recklessly with no interest in the consequences.

When she had told Peter about her plans to move to England, he had initially been upset. It was understandable. But his excuse besides missing her was that she wasn't fulfilling her role as a hero. She had been given powers, and she was choosing not to use them. What was the point in being special if you couldn't help others? She understood to a point, but from all the horrors she had faced, was it too much to ask for a break? She wanted to settle down, finish high school, go to college. She wanted to live. She wanted to live without the fear of being hurt, or having those she loved getting hurt because of her.

That was the reason she had come to Brighton.

She could say no. She could walk away from Steve Rogers or tell him to find someone else. But she knew that he believed in her. It was, in truth, her duty to help others in need. Like Ben Parker had said, 'with great power comes great responsibility.'