Tale of A Golden Girl

Weirdos

Naruto rubbed gingerly at her cheeks, sitting up straight again.

"You're both turds." The blonde stated. "Problem solved."

"What!?"

Naruto beamed, fist bumping Guy as the dark haired youth shook his head, white teeth sparkling.

True to her word, Naruto hung up Anko's gift on her bedroom wall, directly across from the door, so whoever entered had no choice but to see it.

"What the hell is that?"

Naruto turned around, masked face lighting up at the sight of Jiraiya standing in her doorway.

"Wait, what's what, Ero-Sennin?"

"I told you to stop calling me that." Jiraiya uttered flatly.

"It's either that or Ero Jiji. Choose man."

"Screw you." The toad sage snorted.

"You can't talk to me like that!" Naruto exclaimed. "I'm just an innocent little kid!"

Jiraiya scoffed.

"Yeah, and I'm wearing a pink thong."

"Ugh sick!" Naruto gagged, face contorting in anguish when a saggy man butt strangled by an itty bitty piece of lingerie flashed behind her eyes.

Jiraiya chuckled, waving away the blonde's antics.

"Ignoring the subject of my fine behind, I still want to know what the heck that is." The Sannin said, pointing at the picture behind Naruto.

Abruptly cured of all suffering, the blonde perked up.

"Oh that?" She chirped. "My friend drew it for me during free time today. It's a toad."

"That's an insult." Jiraiya deadpanned.

"What!"

"I mean seriously kid, that thing looks like some poor creature summoned from the sorriest pit of hell imaginable." He went on. "Quite simply, it's hideous. Your friend's mind must be a dark place."

"You're the worst Ero Sennin." The blonde grinned.

The tall man beamed.

"Don't act like you don't love it."

"What? Never." Naruto laughed, rolling her eyes.

But she did. She loved the weirdo like the dad she'd never had, and she had missed bantering with the perv so freely.

"Oh, I forgot I came in here for a reason." Jiraiya said, pulling the blonde from her thoughts.

"More like barged in." Naruto snorted. "Didn't anyone ever teach you not to burst into a lady's room unannounced?"

"I was under the impression you were an "innocent little kid"." Jiraiya shot back, placing his hands on his hips haughtily.

"You'd be surprised." The blonde smirked, before she sobered and asked, "But anyways, why did you come here Ero-Sennin?"

"Oh yeah," Jiraiya perked up. "I have yet to tell my old buddy Sakumo that I'm back in town, so I wanted to surprise him because I heard he's getting off guard duty this evening."

Naruto's eyes bulged.

"You came in here without telling Saki-chan first!?"

Jiraiya's eyes bulged.

"You call a man that's stronger than me Saki-chan!?"

"Dude!" The blonde shrieked. "Focus! You can't just waltz in here unannounced, the last time Minato-san did that Sakumo didn't recognize him for a second and almost killed him with a spatula!"