Extinguished (a post mockingjay story)

Dealing

She gone my little duck is gone and she isn't coming back  "It's all your fault that's she's dead why don't you just face it Katniss you killed your own sister" The voice yells at me .The scraping of a shovel brings me out of my trance I wait a minute thinking it will just go away like my hallucinations always do but it doesn't. So I go down stairs to locate the source of the sound. It's coming from the side of the house so I put on my slippers and walk around the house. When I see him I pull up short. His face is flushed from all this digging. But why is he digging I look around him to see a wheelbarrow and in that wheelbarrow are five scraggly bushes
   "You're back," I say.
"Dr.Aurelius wouldn't let me leave the capitol until yesterday" Peeta says " By the way he said to tell you that he can't keep pretending he's treating you forever. You have to pick up the phone."
    He looks well. Thin and covered with scars like me but his eyes have lost that clouded tortured look now they look like the two blue pools I used to just get lost in he is also frowning slightly through as he takes me in. I make a half hearted effort to push my hair out my eyes and realize that it's so matted I can't. I feel defensive "What are u doing?" "I went to the woods this morning and dug these up. For her" he say. "I thought we could plant them along the side of the house" I look at the bushes and catch my breath as I realize that they are roses I start to get mad why would Peeta go and get roses after we had just literally killed snow the person who liked to torment us with roses but then I realize these aren't just any kind of roses their evening primroses the plant that p-prim my sister was named for. I give Peeta a nod but then I feel myself about to cry so I sprint for the house and lock the door behind me as I slide down the door trembling with weakness the little voice in my head is telling over and over that I would be better off dead so I get up and walk  to the bathroom and grab the box of razor blades that my prep team used when they came for the victory tour and I roll up my pant leg and carve the words primrose Everdeen into my the inside of my upper thigh it's hurts as I drag the razor across my skin but at the same time the voice in my head in saying that I have finally done something that makes up for me kill half the people that I loved. I don't know how long I sat there carving the names of people I think no I know that I am responsible for their death but when I am about finished I have cuts all over my upper thighs and my upper arms. When
      I hear a knock at the door I pull up short. "Katniss I'm coming in it's greasy Sae" I'm in a panic now I look around for a way out so I turn on the shower and quickly strip and step in "I'm in the shower be out in a minute" I wash the blood off the newly made cut it burns a little when I introduced the water to my freshly made cuts. So I hurry up and wash it. Then I let the water run so all blood it the tub goes down the drain. As lm about I get dressed I realize that I have to rap the wound or in will bleed through my clothes and then greasy sae will see so I go under the sink and pull out the white bandages that my mother used for things like this so I take the cloth and rap it around my leg turn off the shower get dressed and go down stairs. There is a plate of food but where is greasy sae I look on the table and find a note
Katniss ,I'm not going to be able to come over to ur house every day anymore listen sweet girl I know your sad about prim but if she was here do u think this is life she would of wanted for you I know what it's like to lose a sibling but I want you to know that it is nothing you did to make me go I am moving to district 6 I will miss you and please find the life that primrose would have wanted for you - Greasy Sae.

  Well at least I don't have to worry about anyone walking in on me cutting or crying or not eating the voice in my head is right I would be better off dead I mean the only person I would hurt is haymich and he is drunk half the time Peeta doesn't love me anymore and well my mother she has a new life now I'm district 4 and I bet you she wouldn't even know. I deserve to die and that's what I'm going to do I'm going to kill my self but I'm not going to do it fast I want it to be slow so that I can pay for all the lives I've taken and messed no one needs Katniss Everdeen. I guess you could say the girl on fire has finally been

                        Extinguished.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters all of this story was inspired but the hunger games trilogy that was written by the lovely Suzanne Collins any characters that where not in the book or the names of them were not mentioned those are mine thanks for reading give me so constructive criticism and if u want more chapters then ask cuz I won't keep writing if y'all don't want me too bye❤️❤️