Step 2: Deal with his shit

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Oh he's awful

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Oh he's awful. Just awful.

"So who's your new lady friend?" The taxi driver asked.

"Oh, she's my sidekick, Dopinder."

"Sidekick..? But I thought I was your sidekick..."

"I'm his babysitter." I piped up. Wade pretty much ignored me.

"You know I'd never cheat on you, especially not with the human embodiment of the cardboard cutout of Black Widow they sell at Wal-Mart."

I knew if I opened my mouth I'd get another one-liner thrown at me so I kept quiet. Wade obviously noticed.

"No snarky comment?"

"Not today."

"Damn I thought we were really connecting there."

Wade's attention was drawn back to the taxi driver, Dopinder, as he directed him where to go. We started crossing a bridge when Wade tapped him on his arm repeatedly.

"Stop here!"

"But we're-"

"Here's just fine." Wade interrupted him, twisting himself strangely and grabbing his Hello Kitty bag from beside me in the back seat.

"So, what are we doing here?" I asked him as we both slammed the doors of the taxi shut. It sped off haphazardly.

"To further the plot."

"What?"

"And wait."

Wade pulled himself up onto the guard rail. I would've been surprised he wasn't terrified of falling, but he can't really die so he'd have nothing to fear. I, of course, a mere mortal, refused to go near the edge.

"What? Scared of heights?" He asked, pulling out a small stereo from his bag. I didn't feel like responding. I knew if I showed any weakness, he'd find a way to make fun of me. I just stood beside him and crossed my arms, as if it would protect me.

"Oh you are..." He stood up and walked towards me slowly, which worried me. He had something planned.

"What is it to you?"

"Wait, you wouldn't get really scared if I did this-" Wade grabbed me by the hand, I could only assume to throw me over the rail, but I took no chances. I twisted his wrist, a way it probably shouldn't twist, until I heard a loud crack. Wade pulled his hand away in pain, waving his limp, backwards hand around.

"Fuck! Ow!" He screeched. Then he hissed. "Ahh.. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck." He gripped his wrist, flung it to the side, and it clicked back into place.

"You really mean business."

"I get that a lot."

"Oh, you're a total shitstick aren't you? You probably get that one a lot too." Wade gave his wrist one final crack before continuing his day as if nothing ever happened.

"I didn't think I got your name, "

"Do names matter?"

"They do, especially since you look like a character from Attack on Titan."

I couldn't help but chuckle, and mentally slapped myself right after. I shouldn't have laughed at that. Wade probably thought the same.

"Was that a laugh?" I kept quiet. "Oh c'mon, work with me here, Levi." More silence.

"I don't know how long the iron giant wants you to babysit me, but during that time, think we can call ourselves friends?"

"No."

"Acquaintances?"

"No."

"Butt buddies."

"God no." A pause.

"How 'bout friends?" Wade's hand outstretched for mine. I didn't take it at first. "Could you hurry? My arm's getting tired."

"Fine." I took Wade's hand and shook it once before letting go.

"And my name's Scout."

"Scout..?" He questioned. Oh no.

"Yea.."

"Like girl scouts?"

"Do we have to do this now?" I groaned, but Wade just laughed.

"Hey, maybe next time you should bring some cookies. Tag-a-longs are my favorite."

I guess, in his book, we were friends now. And even though he's the most annoying person on the face of the Earth, I felt I could try my best to deal with him for the time being.

●●●

Okay, we're friends. It could be worse right? It's better than being his sidekick... or babysitter.

"Alright, girl scout, can you fight? Or do you just sell cookies." Wade teased as he spotted some cars coming our way below us.

"I swear..."

"Alright, good." He stood up from his spot on the rail and stepped over it.

"Wait, you want me to jump?!" I yelped, standing fearfully beside him.

"Yes."

"But-" Wade grabbed my arm and took a leap, not letting me finish.

The fall down felt like it was in slow motion, and my short hair whipped my face in the wind, stinging my skin.

"Maximum effort!" Wade hollered on the way down in excitement. I just screamed. I did not want to die today, or any day any time soon. I already knew this partnership would be a dangerous, life-threatening one.

Thankfully, Wade wasn't a complete asshole. As we crashed through the roof of a moving vehicle, he made sure he was under me to break my fall. And luckily, I was okay. But now we were in a car, and surrounded by people I didn't know. Plus, all of them were trying to kill us. There were 4 people in the car excluding Wade and I, so cramped was an understatement.

"Can you kill this guy already?!" Wade complained, elbowing someone, possibly on accident.

"Colossus said killing isn't allowed!" I shot back angrily.

"Since when have you ever listened to him?!"

"Fuck you!" I pulled my katana from it's holster on my back and shoved it through the driver's seat, and in turn, through the head of whoever was driving. Crimson blood splattered onto the windshield. I pulled the sword out with a groan.

Wade lept into the blood-coated driver's seat, pushing the dead man aside and started driving. He quickly wiped off the blood from the windshield with his arm.

"Nice work, girl scout!" He cheered

"Wade, what the fuck are we doing?! Who are these people?!" I squeaked, heaving myself into the passenger seat beside him.

"Drug dealers, malady! I've been following their routes for months..." Wade explained, pulling his blood-stained mask off so he can see the road better.

"I'm supposed to keep you out of trouble, not help you get into it! Now pull the hell over!"

Girl's Guide to Hating Wade WilsonDonde viven las historias. Descúbrelo ahora