Different Stars ➸ l.b.

0.8

When we finally get home I feel worde than I already did. I wanted to be alone for a minute.

I enter the bathroom and look for my little knifes. I know I should not do this but I have no choice. It made me feel better again. It doesn't even hurt.

Finally I found my knifes. They're so old. I took them with me from london because I just felt better when I had them. And now I actually need them.

I took the red one. I watch the hall if someone is coming but I can't see anyone. I Lock the door trying to make less noise. Sit down on the floor. Put of my pants. And slowly cut my wrist. The drupples blod are running down my wrist. Worthless' I cut into my wrist.

I'm bleeding. It's red like the love even tought love is becoming a bit more dark. More black but still red. Those single drupples of blood leave a small trace.

"Ellie are you in there?" Jai yelled.

"Almost ready!" I yelled back.

I quickly take a towel. It's wasn't the best choice to choose a white one. He's now white with some red stains.

I open to the door trying to cover the bloody towel. I go ouside and put the towel into the bin of the neighbors. Yes there's a bin ouside. Bc they think when someone wants to put it on te street and see the little bin they'd put it into the bin. They always watch it but people still trow it on te floor.

It's already dark outside. All those single stars are shining into the dark.

I didn't think of telling the boys were I'm going. It the place of me and Luke. They just don't have to know.

I just need to go to the forest. To think. Just be alone for a minute. Watch the stars shining.

If I enter the forest. The place I had that special conversation with Luke. I see him sitting there. Watching the stars. Without knowing I'm here too.

"Also trying to think?" I asked slowly.

"Exacly."

He doesn't look at me. Like he already knows the sound of my voice and is way to angry about what happend last night.

We're sitting there. Next to each other. Without even looking at each other.

"Angel, why are you doing this to me." He asked still looking at the stars.

"Beau told me. Your past with girls." I said.

"This is not like that. You're different than all those little sluts." He explained.

"I trudly love you." He looks right into my eyes while saying this. It hits me.

My feelings for Beau are gone in just a few seconds. His words are stronger.

"But I can't hurt Beau."

"Tell me. Do you love him the way you love me?" He asked.

"No. I love you more."

"And I love you."

"But you kisses Jessica, Beau's ex girlfriend."

"I was drunk."

He looks down. He comes quickly closer to me. "What's this?" He looks at my wrist. I forgot to changing my clothes. The nights here are just so warm, so why whould I put on some long trousers? My shorts are good but I just totally forgot about it.

"Nothing bad."

"Do you cut yourself? Why?" He's in shock.

"Jessica sends me hate. That I could better die. That your lips tast good. Stuff like that. I couldn't handle it anymore."

"How strong is your love for me?" He asked.

"strong."

"Strong enough to stop cutting?"

"You can't ask that." I said.

"But I do. Please, do it for me. Or for Beau. Skip. Jai. James. We all love you so much. And you let Jessica ruin that. Don't give her attention." He looks straight into my eyes.

his head moves quietly to mine. He closes his gorgeous eyes. his soft lips touches mine. It feels like I finally know what I want. I want him. I feel safe. His cold fingertips touches my jaw.

My toughts are freaking out. But I know who I want.

I'm slowly falling for Luke. but I can't hurt Beau.

I'm such a slut. A fucking bitch actually. I just have a boyfriend and I'm already falling for his brother. Actually this is the second time I fall for Luke.

How can this overcome me? Do I actually love Beau that way? But I swear, I can't hurt him. his already my best friend and he told me about Luke. That he had a depression. Maybe I have to work on my relationship with Beau. I can try it. I have to 'ignore' Luke so I can at least try it with Beau. But ignoring Luke will be the hardest thing I ever need to do.

my phone vibrates in my pocket

A text.

Terrible Jessica:

You're such a slut. How will Beau react of I tell him about your beautiful night with Luke. Looking at the stars and saying some stupid things. Beau will hate you frorever. And if you can't live with that, you can already start the proces. Start cutting and I hope you cut of your legs. And at least die slowly.

Is she even human. This girl is ready for going to the mad house.

Maybe I can go with her. I'm also a jerk. I'm falling for two guys, and they're brothers.

God help me?